Wednesday, February 07, 2007

She's Back...

We in the United Methodist Church take communion at the beginning of every month. I love this about our church and look forward to it. I have a very high view of communion and treat it with deep reverence and prayer. I am not sure that most people truly grasp the beauty of this practice...but that is another blog. This one is much lighter and funnier. If you want more on communion, I'd encourage you to check out Eucharist: Christ's Feast with the Church by Laurence Hull Stookey.

I would just like to preface this little story by saying one thing. In the six months since I moved to Auburn, I have not fallen down even once. This is a feat for me. I have a tendency to trip, fall down, and do overall klutzy things...often. I did my fair share of falling in Kentucky...down the stairs (at least five times), in the quad (at least twice) and just generally walking around. It is a tragedy for me and a treat for my friends. With my long record of not falling here, I thought I left my klutzy nature in Kentucky.

Boy, was I wrong...

A few weeks ago, I was at church preparing to take communion. I became terribly aware that my foot was asleep. This is not good, since we rise to take communion in my church. I couldn't stomp my foot, so I just determined to really focus while walking to the altar. Focus I did. I walked slowly and deliberately to the front. I even eased around the piano to the empty spot where I would kneel. Mind you I could not feel my foot...at all. I made it to the rail, quite satisfied with myself for not losing my balance.

Then it happened.

I began to kneel and all of the sudden I just started falling to the left. It did not occur to me that my ankle might completely give out at this point. It did and I lost it. The story could end here and be funny enough. Oh, but it doesn't...it gets worse.

As I actively fall (keep in mind communion usually entails almost complete silence...), I let out a loud whimper. Actually it was more like a grunt. It is sort of hard to describe in words (sound effects are better). The best comparison I can muster is that sound Homer Simpson makes when he's been caught or done something stupid, "doh!" A somewhat loud, prolonged, "doh!"

With a look of horror on his face, the nice man next to me tried to "catch" me. I wouldn't exactly let him...I caught myself with the communion rail. I sort of brushed him off and bowed my head as if to pray. Mostly I sat there wondering how I could leave without anyone noticing. I realized that would be impossible, so I just prayed to die right then and there.

The pastor came past with the communion wafers and...he gave me two out of pity. At least that made me smile. I stayed there and attempted to pray, but mostly just gathered my dignity. I made it back to my seat and could think of nothing else for the rest of the service. Single most embarrassing moment ever.

The next two days I did the following: (1) I fell down at the gas station and got grease all over my pants and (2) spilled an entire diet coke all over my pants. I think it is safe to say the klutz in me is back...full force.

9 comments:

brandon said...

Julie,

I love this story. One time when I was at Baylor, I saw a friend of mine coming from a distance. I hid behind a bush and planned on jumping out at him when he came by. As I heard him approach, I jumped out!

But alas, it was not my friend; instead it was a complete stranger. I tried to play it off but to no avail.

Good to "have you back."

Brandon

alison said...

Julie, this story cracks me up! I too am plagued by falling down (weak ankles, I say). But the truth is, I really don't wear the most practical shoes.:) Hey, at least I look cute, right?:)

Eddie said...

Now this is a great story. I really wish I could have seen that, I would never ever ever have stopped laughing. In fact, I would still be laughing.

Ok, my quick story. It seems that First UMC is having a problem with the communion cups as they break quite often when people pull them out of the tray. In Offerings last week, a girl who had never been there before (and probably won't be back) pulled one out and broke it. However, she gasped as if she had just been stabbed. To make it worse, Megan D. then laughed so loud that the solemn attitude was trashed and everyone was kind of taking communion from Teddy like he was handing out Halloween candy.

Not as good as falling down publicly, but I was amused.

Hope all is well in Julie-land.

Todd said...

How I wish beyond words that I could have witnessed this.

Ben Witherington said...

Well Julie:

I feel your pain. Once when I was supposed to baptize a baby, there was a vapor lock on the baptismal font. Well there was me, and the family and the baby. Then picture Lela the choir director barrel-hugging the baptism font and me pulling on the lid. Well sudden the lid popped off and we all got totally immersed-- all of us! They were able to say after that service-- that minister is all wet!

Hang in there-- we all do klutzy things-- its the Holy Spirit's means of keeping us humble.

Blessings,

Ben

Halley said...

Julie has a blogspot! Yay! Ya know, I've heard this story about 4 times now and it still makes me laugh. :o)

Goalie said...

Wonderfully descriptive--thank you for the teary laughter! If this experience were a knitting project, my mother would refer to it as "a humility spot."

Previous commenters: lovely musings of yours, as well. I particularly enjoyed Brandon's sneak attack.

Goalie said...

Julie,

I was checking some church friends' family blog and some random strangers' blog. I hitchhiked from one of those two sites and found one entitled something like, "Musings of an Ordinary Girl..." Alison's? Hers took me to Brandon's; one of those two (or someone ELSE's!) took me to yours.

So, really, I'm just an ordinary girl in the middle of nowhere, quite happy to find others who think and live in ways similar to the ones I choose.

Have a good evening!

Goalie said...

Yep, the blogging community is definitely an interesting thing! I'm rather bummed about most likely not ever meeting any of you for coffee. The great part about networking with Christians, though, is meeting in "a few" years!

The northern part of Arkansas is so pretty! Recognize the lake? ;)