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I thought I'd share what I would consider an excellent "Top Ten List: Top Devotional Books" from a great professor at Asbury Theological Seminary. Dr. Kinghorn is a professor at Asbury and, most importantly, a man after God's own heart. He is an honest, earnest man with a love for God that is evident in his teaching and his life.

I have used and will certainly return to some of the resources on his list. The others are on my mental list of ones to use in the future. Off the top of my head, my own personal list would also include:
Reflections for Ragamuffins by Brennan Manning
Bread for the Journey by Henri Nouwen
A Testament of Devotion by Thomas Kelly
This Day with the Master by Dennis Kinlaw

Enjoy Dr. Kinghorn's list. I hope it helps in your own search for a meaningful, encouraging, and challenging devotional. Feel free to share your own favorites through my blog comments!

The Fruit of the Spirit is Patience...

I am the Quote Queen, so I thought I'd share a couple of nuggets from a book I've read a couple of times. I highly recommend it to anyone seeking meaning and purpose and wrestling with the things of God and life in general. It is called An Incomplete Guide to the Rest of Your Life by Stan Gaede. I am pretty sure I've mentioned it before on my blog. Enjoy these nuggets on patience and trusting God.

"God is God...and we are not. And there is absolutely nothing in Scripture - from beginning to end - to suggest that God intends to operate on our timetable. Quite the reverse. God does almost nothing according to our calendar, and he tells us nothing - not a thing- about how he has numbered our days. What he gives us in abundance are evidences of his faithfulness to those who love him. That we know for sure. But he rarely tells us what's in store for us just around the corner." (p.43)


"...God does not do what we expect him to do precisely because is infinitely more gracious and merciful than we would ever be in a million years. God is inscrutable precisely because he is unbelievably longsuffering and infinitely loving.

Unbelievably. That's why patience is a fruit of the spirit, by the way. Because it doesn't come naturally to us. But it does come naturally to God. Which is why we don't always understand him. And why others will not always understand us when we are patient and longsuffering because of the Spirit's work in our lives." (p.45-46)

And so we trust, hope, believe, and hold on, remembering that God has a history of steadfast love and redemption. His plans have not changed simply because our circumstances are not ideal at the moment. In his infinitely love he will make all things new and bring it all together for good. Always has, always will...

The Naked Truth

"Jesus, it seems to me, would teach...that it is always a privilege to help anybody, because all men are of the same caste, the very highest caste. They are all sons of God. They are men in which God dwells. And, indeed, I think it is not poetic fancy merely, but the naked truth. That by coming to men with nothing but a loving desire to help them you do actually come near to God Himself; perhaps nearer than when you kneel before the altar."

This is yet another quote from the remarkable book I've been talking about in the last few posts, Leslie Weatherhead's The Transforming Friendship. I love this one because it speaks to the deepest part of me. It just sums it all up for me. It warms me to read something like this. It also convicts me to the core.

How many sermons have we heard on "The Naked Truth" that dealt more with what we should or should not do as Christians than on living a life of love? We are so busy trying to fix everyone and make them more like us when the image of God Himself resides in them somewhere already. We need to find a way to see that and call that forth in each other rather than trying to fix or change people because they make us uncomfortable.

I read once , "To love another person is to see the image of God in them. That unique spark entrusted only to them..." (I read this in the fanstastic book Becoming Friends: Worship, Justice, and the Practice of Christian Friendship by Paul J. Waddell). I am always so grateful when others see past my obvious imperfections and look instead for Jesus in me. I want to do this more often with others I encounter, in friends and in those that frustrate me. I know that doing so would make me a much more patient, gracious person. It would soften my spirit and make me more like Jesus. Most importantly of all, it would bring me closer to God Himself. And nothing but good can come of that connection!

Weatherhead has really done nothing more in this book than remind us of what Jesus instructed us to do throughout His earthly ministry: love God and love people. So simple and yet so complex. Really it is only complex because we make it that way. If we would stop and seek to see God in each person we encounter (and I would argue most especially ourselves first, as this enables us to see it in others) we would find ourselves more content and more at peace...with ourselves and others.

I know some people who are already seasoned veterans at this and I envy them a little. I long to be more like that myself. I'm done talking about it. I think I'm going to go for it! Want to join me?

"Them" or Him?

The real glorious thing about The Transforming Friendship is that Weatherhead's idea that Christianity is essentially the acceptance of the friendship of Jesus is anything but fluffy. So often we hear it said or read somewhere that Jesus is our "Friend." But what follows is a soft description of friendship that doesn't at all add up to the Jesus of the gospels and what He asks of us.

Weatherhead warns against this kind of interpretation over and over again. He even strongly suggests, "Religion has become a soft and flabby and aesthetic thing...We are all attracted by Christ, but we are held back by a thousand things." For some, this might simply be the appearance of things. We know that communion with God would afford us the freedom and peace we so desire. But we find ourselves so consumed with worry about what other people think "until in the end we care more for what they all think than what the eternal Christ thinks.

And who are "they"? I ask myself this question all the time. When someone tells me, "They say" this-or-that or I find myself worried about what people will think if I do this-or-that, I am faced with this question. Who are "they" and why do I care about what "they" think. I know who Jesus is...and what He thinks counts more than the opinions of "them," whoever "they" are.

I think deep down inside of us we know why we listen to "them" instead of Him. We have this fear that God might ask of us and do more than we could ever imagine. So, we listen to "them," limit ourselves, and settle for far less than our potential. All in the name of fitting in to the status quo.

But friendship with Jesus - the real, transformative kind - offers us so much more. It demands all...and gives all. Accepting the friendship of Jesus will make you more yourself than you will ever be listening to "them" instead of Him.

"A Friend Alive Forevermore..."

I am still soaking everything in that I read in The Transforming Friendship by Leslie D. Weatherhead. I have been thinking a lot about the points he raised in this incredible book. Mostly, the concept of God in Jesus as Friend. This is a huge concept. It is one we speak of often, but scarcely understand. We call Jesus our friend, but we have no real idea what that entails. For many, the concept of friend in general is all but antiseptic. To call Jesus a friend is to really call him an "acquaintance" or someone we sometimes spend time with or speak to from time-to-time. This is not the kind of friendship God offers to us in Jesus. It is so much more...

Weatherhead talks a lot in the beginning of the book about the friendship between Jesus and his disciples, most especially between the Resurrection and the Ascension. He speaks of the "strange appearings" of Jesus after the resurrection.

"What do these strange appearings and disappearings mean? They are His perfect way of making [the Disciples] feel that He is never far away. He does not seem to be there. Then He breaks in upon them, always knows what has happened, always takes charge of the situation, until they never know when they may become aware of Him...The experience becomes richer. They feel that He is never absent. Communion now will mean as much as it did when they could Hear His voice, see His face, and touch Him."

What did this do for them? Everything. These indescribable experiences of true community with Christ gave them the strength, power and confidence to spread hope to the world. These moments were life-changing enough to those who experienced them that they were willing to die for the chance just to tell others about it. That is the kind of friendship Jesus offered while He was on earth and, perhaps all the more between his Resurrection and Ascension.

To truly walk through life with the Friendship of Jesus is to be transformed like the Disciples in those final days between the Resurrection and Ascension. For, "Christianity is meaningless unless this friendship can do as much for us. What Jesus once was, He is eternally." What a beautiful, blessed thought! Isn't this what we all long for in this life? And it is available to us...now.

I know this post is heavy in quotes, but Weatherhead says it all so well! Let me leave you with one more for the road. Let this one sink in...

"I want to say to all who are worshiping a picture of Jesus in a frame called History - to people who are beaten in their lonely toilsome effort to be like the Hero of that picture - that there is a richer experience than they have yet known. If they will sit down quietly He will come out of the picture into their life. A little faith - that kind of effortless prayer which is the leaving of the heart's door upon the latch - and the Guest will come as often as you want Him, and you will be carried further than a whole year of fussy striving would take you; for He is not a ghost of the dead past, but a friend alive forevermore."

A "Transforming" Book

"[W]e may try to alter our lives by good resolutions and intentions, but imitations and effort, but how fruitless it all is until we open our lives to His friendship and are transformed...not from without, but from within...

God may not want to make us poets or painters or pianists, but He does want to make us saints. So He offers to all this gift - the gift of a new life. You can use your willpower, and that will take you part of the way. You can use your brains, and they will take you a little way. You can imitate, and that may take you a little way. But all these things together in music and art and poetry, and in life, will never take you as far as a gift will take you." - Leslie D. Weatherhead

Of late I have been reading a real gem of a book called The Transforming Friendship by Leslie D. Weatherhead. The above quote is from that remarkable book. The subtitle itself is inviting: "A Book About Jesus and Ourselves." Such a simple description from a book that is beautifully simple itself. This was one of those books I have had on my shelf for ages and just never took the time to read. I picked it up to thumb through it a few weeks ago and feel in love with it. It was an incredible, insightful read(just 120 pages!). One of those books you are a slightly sad to finish because you just want more.

The book gets to the heart of what it means to enter into a friendship with God. Not the fluffy, life-is-perfect-and-so-am-I kind of friendship, but the real kind. The kind where we bring our real selves to Jesus and just receive the gift of His friendship. No ceaseless striving, no dancing for men's eyes (or God's, for that matter...), no false-selves. Just us and Jesus.

I cannot begin to do this book justice in a blog. However, I would like to share/reflect on some of the great things Weatherhead had to say in the next couple of blogs. It is all just too good not to share. If you can find a copy of it somewhere, grab it. I think it may be out-of-print, but there are copies out there being sold and given away and this book is invaluable! I am pretty sure I obtained mine because my mom grabbed it when the library at my home church was closing. I am so glad she did. I feel sure it is a book I will return to again and again.

I promise to share more excerpts and thoughts in the next few blogs...

A Few More Thoughts on Prayer

Here are a few more prayers that I love...

"Lord, send me anywhere, Only go with me;
Lay any burden on me, Only sustain me.
Sever any tie, Save the tie that binds me to Thy heart—
Lord Jesus, my King, I consecrate my life, Lord, to Thee." - David Livingstone

"Lord, Thou knowest what I want if it be Thy will that I should have it. If it be not Thy will, do not be displeased. For I want nothing which Thou doest not want for me." - Julian of Norwich

"Take my lips and speak through them, take my mind and think through it..." - Francis Havergal (He is also the man who wrote "Take My Life and Let It Be"...also a good prayer in and of itself!)

And some thoughts on prayer that have informed my own...

“Everybody prays whether [you think] of it as praying or not. The odd silence you fall into when something very beautiful is happening or something very good or very bad. The 'Ah-h-h-h!' that sometimes floats up out of you as out of a Fourth of July crowd when the sky-rocket bursts over the water. The stammer of pain at somebody else's pain. The stammer of joy at somebody else's joy. Whatever words or sounds you use for sighing with over your own life. These are all prayers in their way. These are all spoken not just to yourself but to God.” - Buechner

"Prayer is first of all listening to God. It's openness. God is always speaking; he's always doing something. Prayer is to enter into that activity. ... Convert your thoughts into prayer. As we are involved in unceasing thinking, so we are called to unceasing prayer. The difference is not that prayer is thinking about other things, but that prayer is thinking in dialogue... a conversation with God." - Henri Nouwen

"To pray is to let Jesus into our lives." - O Hallesby

I long for constant conversation with God on the things of life. I long to learn the "unforced rhythms of grace" (Matthew 11:28-30, "The Message"). This is the stuff of life, where true transformation and beauty begins. I am sure of it. Days when I and my thoughts are in connection with God, all goes better. I feel free...beautiful...content. These days are not without their glitches and problems, they are just checkered with grace and mercies ever new. I want a life where everyday is like that. And on those that aren't, I want to release it to God and move on. Want to join me?

Real Prayer Experiment

A few posts ago I made the comment that we often avoid or put off prayer because we think we do not have time for it. I believe that this is due in large part to a complete misunderstanding of what prayer truly is.

Let me just say at the outset that I believe that we must come apart for times of concentrated, on-your-knees, fervent prayer times. It is vital to the Christian life to find time to do this. I have been blessed beyond measure by finding a solitary place - be it a porch in the wilderness, a chair in my bedroom, or a chapel in a church somewhere - to pray, to breathe, and to listen.

However...

I believe these rare moments of solitary prayer are fortified by the day-to-day, moment-by-moment prayers we offer to God as we draw each breath. Much of my prayer time is like this. I think of a person or situation that concerns me or brings me joy and offer a quick (or sometimes not-so-quick!) prayer to God. I am convinced this is what it really means to "pray continually." Doing so purifies our thoughts, halts our worries, and can even bring us joy.

So, why do we not do more of this? I can say with confidence that I am a much more joyful, peaceful person when I approach each day this way. The opposite is true when I fail to do so. Without constant prayer, I find myself much more worried, stressed, depressed, and frustrated.

I propose an experiment. Say a simple prayer at the start of each day (or as you are reading this, even!) for the next week. Ask God to guide your heart and thoughts to Him, to "take captive every thought" to Him (2 Cor. 10:5), and "fix your eyes" on Him (Hebrews 12:2). Write your own brief prayer and memorize it. Use it to bookend your day for the next week and see if you don't find yourself praying constantly throughout the day because you've given it to God. I personally need to enter into this experiment. I don't know why I ever get out of the habit of doing this. I can always tell when I have broken the habit. Unfortunately, so can everyone else!

Godspeed to you as you seek to "pray without ceasing" this week!

Here are a couple of brief prayers I find myself praying all the time. I'll post more from my extensive collection (I love the saints!) in the next few days. Enjoy these...and post any of your own!

"God of your goodness, give me of Yourself, for you are sufficient for me." - Julian of Norwich

"Eternal God, my Sovereign Lord, I acknowledge all that I am, all that I have is Yours. Give me such a sense of Your infinite goodness that I may return to you all possible love and obedience." - John Wesley

It seems I have gone almost a month without a new blog post! For this I am terribly sorry. I am especially sorry since I promised some more thoughts on prayer. I promise those are forth-coming. I started the post just a few days after the first one, actually. Then life happened and I have just been unable to complete it. I'll work on posting it soon.

For now I am enjoying some time at the beach. It is a lovely thing to fall asleep to the sound of the waves. I am hoping this will clear my head and help me finish my thoughts on prayer. I have certainly been learning a lot about it lately...

I'll leave you with the following fantastic quotes until I am able to finish the other post:

"Prayer is a rare gift, not a popular, ready gift. Prayer is not the fruit of natural talent; it is the product of faith, of holiness, of deeply spiritual character." - E.M. Bounds

"We learn to pray as we learn to love..." - E.M. Bounds

Real Prayer

"Of all the duties enjoined by Christianity none is more essential and yet more neglected than prayer." --François Fénelon

I find it ironic that there are so many books out there on prayer these days. It is ironic because many Christians will tell you that they don't pray enough or that they don't know how to pray. I think this is due in large part to a misunderstanding of what it means to pray.

Let me offer a brief disclaimer or two before I expound on that last thought.

Disclaimer #1: Many of the books on prayer that are out there are exceptional. A favorite of mine is Richard Foster's Prayer: Finding the Heart's True Home. As with many of his books, Foster is quick to quote the saints and other great giants of the faith through the ages. I also enjoy just about anything by E.M. Bounds as he has much to say on the matter. Another favorite of mine is The Meaning of Prayer by great preacher Harry Emerson Fosdick. I picked up a tattered copy of this book (for $1!) simply because I liked the title. It has become a treasure to me. Fosdick offers insights about prayer and prayers of the saints throughout. There are countless others that I have been exposed to through my love of the saints and spiritual formation. Suffice it to say that many of the resources on prayer that are out there are worth your time.

Disclaimer #2: No book out there will teach you how to pray. In fact, I'd be leery of any book that say that it could. There are a fair share of formulas out there, some more useful than others. But no formula will teach you how to pray. Prayer is deeply personal and different for everyone. Let that last thought soak in and you will be liberated!

Well, since it seems my disclaimers took up much of the blog, I think I'll save my further thoughts on prayer for the next post. What's already written is enough to think about for the weekend, don't you think?

Spicing it Up!

I decided the other day to try and find a recipe for all of the spices on my spice rack. It seems so unfair for some to be used and some to just hold a place on the rack and collect dust. So, I'm on a mission. If you have great recipes for random spices (um...marjoram?!), send them my way!

The first spice is chili powder. This is one of the often-used spices on my rack. I have plenty of recipes that call for it, but this one is a favorite. It is so yummy! I think Jason would eat it at least once a week if I'd let him. Enjoy!

Tostada Pizza
1 lb. lean ground beef
¾ cup water
1 4½-ounce can diced green chili peppers, drained
½ of a 1½-ounce envelope taco seasoning mix (about 2 T)
1 tsp. chili powder
2 T cornmeal
2 cups packaged biscuit mix
½ cup cold water
1 15-ounce can refried beans
1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese (I use 2% Mexican Blend)
1 cup shredded lettuce
1 medium tomato, chopped
½ cup thinly sliced green onions (optional)

In a large skillet, cook ground beef until brown. Drain well. Stir in the ¾ cup water, chili peppers, taco seasoning mix, and chili powder. Simmer, uncovered, about 15 minutes or until thick.

Meanwhile, generously grease a 12- to 14-inch pizza pan. Sprinkle with the cornmeal. In a medium mixing bowl stir together the biscuit mix and the ½ cup cold water with a fork until dough follows fork around the bowl. With floured fingers, pat dough into bottom and up edge of prepared pan.. Spread refried beans over dough. Spoon meat mixture over refried beans.

Bake, uncovered in a 450o oven for 18 to 20 minutes or until crust is golden brown. Sprinkle with the cheese. Bake for 3 to 5 minutes more or until cheese is melted. Top with lettuce, tomato, and green onions (if desired). If desired, serve with taco sauce (…it is perfectly yummy without! ).

This recipe is from Better Homes and Gardens: 75 Years of All-Time Favorites. An excellent cookbook that I inherited from my grandma with lots of delicious recipes!

Listening and Loving

"The first duty of love is to listen." -- Paul Tillich

I shoplifted the above quote from another blog that I enjoy reading. The blog is of a friend I know only through his blogs. Somehow we have connected through the blogosphere and it has been an immense blessing to me. His words are raw and honest and deep. Plus, he has a rare love for the saints. Basically he speaks my language (maybe a little clearer and more intelligently than I do...). Often it seems God is teaching us similar things at the same time. Then there are times when I read a post and just find his thoughts fascinating and encouraging (see The Smell of Victory).If you are ever needing some encouragement or a challenge, venture on over to St. Cuthbert's Island. For starters, his post on the above quote is great.

I'll post my own thoughts on the quote from Tillich later. Suffice it to say this quote and my friend's thoughts on it convicted me in more than one area in my life. I am always working on being a better listener - to God, my husband, and my family. I am still learning...

Wise Words

"Time has been given to us to cause love to grow, and the success of our lives will be measured by how delicately and sensitively we have loved." - Brennan Manning

"We can proclaim with theological certainty in the power of the Word: God loves you as you are and not as you should be! Do you believe this? That God loves you beyond worthiness and unworthiness, beyond fidelity and infidelity, that he loves you in the mornings sun and the evening rain, that he loves you without caution, regret, boundary, limit, or breaking point?" - Brennan Manning

I just thought I'd share these two thoughts from my daily devotional with you today. These are from two completely different days, but I believe that the one (loving others) has much to do with other (allowing ourselves to be fully loved by God). Brennan Manning has a way with words. His words are at once convicting and encouraging. I dig that about him.

Off-Roading in the...Accord?

Jason and I were just minding our own business today, returning a movie to the store. We spot a turtle making its way across the parking lot. Not good. Yertle will soon be a pancake if we do not intervene. Jason takes action and goes out to pick him up and take him to the grassy area behind the little shopping center. It was plush and nice, but...not good enough for my sweet hubby. Just minutes from our house is a luxurious state park. Only the best for Yertle.

So, we dump our box of emergency supplies in the trunk and put Yertle in there for the ride. He is decidedly timid, this turtle. He has gone farther into his shell than I have ever seen a turtle go. As we ride along, he decides to poke his head out just enough to see (still under his shell, of course...well-protected). He has a piece of grass stuck to the side of one eye. This concerns me. It concerns Jason more that it concerns me. Like I am going to stick my finger in there and retrieve it. I am not stupid! That turtle had some hard-core finger nails (ok...claws) and was in serious need of a manicure. I am not going to risk my own fingers for a piece of grass that Jason assures me, "The turtle will take care of that later." He is funny, my husband. I think I was making him nervous, petting the turtle and looking so closely at him and all. Honestly? The little guy looked strangely like "The Grinch" in the face. He had the same nose! Very Dr. Seuss. Hence the name "Yertle." I talked to him the whole way to the park, assuring him we were taking him to the spa of state parks. I am a dork.

The real fun began once we left Yertle in his plush new surroundings. I say "his," but I did not confirm the sex of the turtle. Not even sure how to do that. Nor do I really want to know...? Anyhow, I digress. Jason left Yertle on a path to the water. He watched to make sure he was ok and came back to the car. He got in the car, satisfied with his good deed, and proceeded to back out. We were just off the road, really no farther than you would be if you pulled over to the shoulder on the highway. But, did I mention we've been experiencing a bit of a tropical depression? Flash floods, storms, and the like for the past several days. Yep. There may have been a little mud. So....the wheels started spinning' and the mud started flying. I was mildly concerned that we might get stuck, but pretended not to be. Jason was highly frustrated, but somehow managed to maneuver the car side to side whilst spinning the wheels. A lot of mud and tire spinning later we skidded onto the road. It was crazy!

On the Road Again

I've been noticing personalized license plates a lot more lately. I am not sure why this is. Jason and I have been spending a good bit of time on the road as-of-late, but most of the ones that catch my eye are in-town. I saw one the other day on a BMW that said: FSHRHNT. One has to wonder just how much fishin' and huntin' is getting done in a Beamer! A random one on the road to Arkansas recently: ONJFAN. I am not sure I would've known what that was, except she had a license plate frame that said, "I'd rather be at an Olivia Newton John Concert." And she was maybe 25ish? It was funny. Just today I saw one that read: "CURRENT." Jason and I speculated that the dude driving the truck didn't have current tags for so time and chose the plate because he was irritated.

I see a few that make me smile/think, too. Religious ones, thoughtful ones, weird ones that don't seem to match the car and/or owner. I saw one just yesterday that caused an epiphany of sorts. It simply read: DONATE. I liked it because it was thought-provoking and a reminder to love generously. As I sat at the red light something else occurred to me, too. It shows what a complete nerd I am, but I think it is worth sharing nonetheless. The word "Nathan" in Hebrew means "giver, to give". The root word means "entrust, consecrate, yield" and other similiar ideas. I have always loved this word/name. So, as I was sitting there staring at the license plate, it dawned on me that donate = do give. I thought that this was pretty fascinating It would definitely preach/teach. This is especially true if you take it further with the root word meaning. Kinda cool, eh? :)

As a side note, I am "on the road" as I type. I think it is pretty cool that I can sit over here in the passenger seat and write a blog while my husband drives. Oh, the advances in technology! :)

Word of the Week: RELEASE

While spending a little quality time with my mom on one of our trips to Arkansas, she said something that really resonated with me. We were talking over a Snow Joe (My mom's favorite addiction at Books-A-Million) one day about life and things. More specifically, we were talking about communication in marriage. She has always been an advocate for sharing exactly what you are thinking and feeling with your husband/wife. We should always feel safe expressing our joys and concerns with our mates.

This is advice worth taking. However, doing this well requires great discernment. This is especially true on the "concerns" side of things. We should tell our spouses everything, but not without some sort of filter or waiting period on some things. We women fail at this a lot, I think. This is why men think we are nags. :) I am learning all about this. Jason does not think I am a nag (yet!) , but I do get the sense that I say to much at times and maybe step on his feelings on some things.

What my mom said to me that day came after I asked how and when I should talk to Jason about things that frustrate me. I started talking about one thing in particular and how I felt it hurt his feelings a little. She said, "You should definitely feel like you can say anything to your husband. But sometimes you get stuck on one thing or another, Julie. You have to learn to release some things. You can still talk to him about them when they happen, but...you've got to let them go after that." This might have bothered me a few years ago, but I saw a lot of truth in what she said. RELEASE it. It is especially hard for me to RELEASE something I feel like I have no control over. The issue we were talking about is one of those. I do need to learn to RELEASE my frustrations, LET GO of worries, and LAY ASIDE my opinions. She spoke the truth in love to me and I am doing my best to take hold of what she said while RELEASING other things. It is definitely easier said than done, but I'm trying!

Word of the Week: EMBRACE

Yea, so I missed a week. Sorry about that. I totally left y'all (the two or three readers out there...!) hanging on the "word of the week" last week. I think I needed a little longer to contemplate the whole WITH thing. That pesky little preposition is more complicated than it seems. Sometimes it seems like a four-letter-word in the worst sense. Maybe it is because I pride myself on being fiercely independent when, in reality, I need people. I need God. And at the same time, I have this not-so-great-or-holy desire to go it alone. Me thinks I am more stubborn than independent most of the time.

I like to think that I am relatively independent and somewhat adventurous. A quick look back on my life will show you that I am not afraid to embark on something new. I am proud of that fact. It also takes me forever to take that first step. I fight back fear every step of the way. Ironically, another look back on my life will reveal that some of the best decisions I have ever made were made with a somewhat spontaneous leap-of-faith (what can I say...I will always be somewhat cautious).

All of this and a couple of conversations with people over the past week have led me to the new word of the week. The word this week is: EMBRACE. I am thinking of this word in the sense of acceptance, peace, and surrender. You can define it however you like in the week ahead, but I am thinking about it in this way. We need to make peace with ourselves, surrender to who we are instead of the idealized version of ourselves. This doesn't mean we use who we are as an excuse not to grow. It means accepting our weaknesses and considering that they might actually be strengths, too. It means taking a long look at ourselves and saying with God that what He made and what I am becoming is good. Like my mom always quotes, "God doesn't make screw-ups!"

I am a very quirky, sometimes clutzy, deeply loving, wonderfully awkward, randomly adventurous, slightly spacy, always analytical, exceptionally nerdy woman. I can be impatient at times, especially with myself. I am a mess, but God's grace is making me new everyday. I am learning to EMBRACE me...all of me. It is quite liberating. You should try it. :)

Waiting WITH

So...at first glance, the "Word of the Week" last week did not go well. In fact, this week found me possibly more impatient and unwilling to WAIT than usual. Perhaps this is because Tax Day came and went (along with some money, I might add...). Or maybe it is because I spent the better part of another week WAITING to see what the future holds for me both vocationally and personally. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that all I really did last week was WAIT: for the weekend, for Jason to come home, for e-mails, for phone calls. Needless to say, I did not WAIT well. It was a somewhat frustrating week. I was terribly aware of the WAITING and not-so-good-at-it. I am not entirely proud of this fact.

All excuses aside for my attitude toward the many ways I am WAITING lately, I do think I learned a little something this week. I learned that I cannot WAIT alone. I need to let myself WAIT with God, with Jason, with family and friends. I need to wait forwardly and expectantly, trusting in God to guide and provide. Herein lies the problem, really. I try too hard to WAIT alone and I lack the necessary trust in God most of the time. I have these pockets of realization that I cannot go it alone and they are hopeful and freeing moments. I need to give in to them much more. This will make the WAITING - no matter how long - much less frustrating and much more life-giving.

You see, we are called to live while we WAIT. We are not just to sit idly by and WAIT for whatever is next. The Scriptures point to an active WAITING for God and, more specifically, WAITING for His return. We are to be watchful, alert, and decidedly not alone. In that beloved passage in Isaiah that is quoted and printed everywhere, the prophet says, "THEY that WAIT upon the Lord will renew THEIR strength..." (40:31). The Psalms encourage us to "wait in expectation" (3:3). Psalm 33 even encourages singing and making music to the Lord as we "wait in hope" for the Lord who is worthy of our trust (20).

I am determined to be better at this WAITING thing. If it is a theme of my life right now I had better make my peace with it. This brings me to the new word of the week. WITH. I think this little preposition is a powerful one. It came to me while I was reflecting on WAITING. There is no better way to WAIT than WITH: the Lord, my full-of-faith-and-trust husband, and the countless others God has graciously given me. I am excited about reflection on our new word of the week and maybe learning to WAIT better because of it!

{The picture above is from the Victory Gardens at Callaway Garden's in Pine Mountain, Georgia...just minutes from our home! I included it because it reminds me that while we must WAIT, there is beauty on the otherside of the WAITING. It also reminds me that it takes a lot of time and care for such a result.}

Julie Andrews Quote

I thought this quote from Julie Andrews was lovely. It seems to go with the theme of my blog somewhat with its talk of freedom. Also, I just love Julie Andrews. :)

"Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly." - Julie Andrews

It might be worth blogging about later, as it is pretty deep and thought-provoking...

Word of the Week: WAIT

WAIT. The word of the week has been a theme in my life for the last few months. I seem to always be WAITING. I am well-versed in WAITING. Sometimes I have a fantastically optimistic view of it. Much more often than I'd like to admit, I have a less-than-stellar attitude about it. I know that God's timing is rarely ours and I can tell you with confidence that it is better. I can say that with ease on the other side of the WAITING. But when I am in it I often find myself discouraged, impatient, frustrated, and lonely. I am hoping that reflecting on the word ::WAIT:: will alter my perspective...and yours.