Moxie?

The major theme in my life right now is perseverance.  That being the case, I thought I'd visit the trusty dictionary.com for a definition of this loaded word.  I found myself encouraged and infused with strength from my visit.  Who knew the dictionary could provide that? :)  I've included the definition and some synonyms below.  I've italicized the stuff I found particularly delightful.

perseverance [pur-suh-veer-uhns]: - noun
1. steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.  2. Theology: a continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.
Synonyms:
1. Doggedness, steadfastness. Perseverance, persistence, tenacity, pertinacity imply resolute and unyielding holding on in following a course of action. Perseverance commonly suggests activity maintained in spite of difficulties or steadfast and long-continued application: endurance and perseverance combined to win in the end. Tenacity, with the original meaning of adhesiveness, as of glue, is a dogged and determined holding on. Whether used literally or figuratively it has favorable implications: a bulldog quality of tenacity; the tenacity of one's memory.

2. Guts, moxie (which implies courage, hope, and spirit...), pluck, spunk, stamina, steadfastness, immovability, stick-to-itiveness

This word occurs more than thirty times in the NT alone.  There are countless references to steadfastness throughout the Bible.  Incidentally, this is a favorite word of mine and the chosen title of a devotional I hope to write one day.  :)  Here's the Greek definition for you:

ὑπομονή (hü-po-mo-nā')
1. steadfastness, constancy, endurance
        a) in the NT the characteristic of a man who is not swerved from his deliberate purpose and his
            loyalty to faith and piety by even the greatest trials and sufferings
        b) patiently, and steadfastly
2. a patient, steadfast waiting for
3. a patient enduring, sustaining, perseverance

Wise Words

"Time has been given to us to cause love to grow, and the success of our lives will be measured by how delicately and sensitively we have loved." - Brennan Manning

"We can proclaim with theological certainty in the power of the Word: God loves you as you are and not as you should be! Do you believe this? That God loves you beyond worthiness and unworthiness, beyond fidelity and infidelity, that he loves you in the mornings sun and the evening rain, that he loves you without caution, regret, boundary, limit, or breaking point?" - Brennan Manning

I just thought I'd share these two thoughts from my daily devotional with you today. These are from two completely different days, but I believe that the one (loving others) has much to do with other (allowing ourselves to be fully loved by God). Brennan Manning has a way with words. His words are at once convicting and encouraging. I dig that about him.

Word of the Week: RELEASE

While spending a little quality time with my mom on one of our trips to Arkansas, she said something that really resonated with me. We were talking over a Snow Joe (My mom's favorite addiction at Books-A-Million) one day about life and things. More specifically, we were talking about communication in marriage. She has always been an advocate for sharing exactly what you are thinking and feeling with your husband/wife. We should always feel safe expressing our joys and concerns with our mates.

This is advice worth taking. However, doing this well requires great discernment. This is especially true on the "concerns" side of things. We should tell our spouses everything, but not without some sort of filter or waiting period on some things. We women fail at this a lot, I think. This is why men think we are nags. :) I am learning all about this. Jason does not think I am a nag (yet!) , but I do get the sense that I say to much at times and maybe step on his feelings on some things.

What my mom said to me that day came after I asked how and when I should talk to Jason about things that frustrate me. I started talking about one thing in particular and how I felt it hurt his feelings a little. She said, "You should definitely feel like you can say anything to your husband. But sometimes you get stuck on one thing or another, Julie. You have to learn to release some things. You can still talk to him about them when they happen, but...you've got to let them go after that." This might have bothered me a few years ago, but I saw a lot of truth in what she said. RELEASE it. It is especially hard for me to RELEASE something I feel like I have no control over. The issue we were talking about is one of those. I do need to learn to RELEASE my frustrations, LET GO of worries, and LAY ASIDE my opinions. She spoke the truth in love to me and I am doing my best to take hold of what she said while RELEASING other things. It is definitely easier said than done, but I'm trying!

Word of the Week: EMBRACE

Yea, so I missed a week. Sorry about that. I totally left y'all (the two or three readers out there...!) hanging on the "word of the week" last week. I think I needed a little longer to contemplate the whole WITH thing. That pesky little preposition is more complicated than it seems. Sometimes it seems like a four-letter-word in the worst sense. Maybe it is because I pride myself on being fiercely independent when, in reality, I need people. I need God. And at the same time, I have this not-so-great-or-holy desire to go it alone. Me thinks I am more stubborn than independent most of the time.

I like to think that I am relatively independent and somewhat adventurous. A quick look back on my life will show you that I am not afraid to embark on something new. I am proud of that fact. It also takes me forever to take that first step. I fight back fear every step of the way. Ironically, another look back on my life will reveal that some of the best decisions I have ever made were made with a somewhat spontaneous leap-of-faith (what can I say...I will always be somewhat cautious).

All of this and a couple of conversations with people over the past week have led me to the new word of the week. The word this week is: EMBRACE. I am thinking of this word in the sense of acceptance, peace, and surrender. You can define it however you like in the week ahead, but I am thinking about it in this way. We need to make peace with ourselves, surrender to who we are instead of the idealized version of ourselves. This doesn't mean we use who we are as an excuse not to grow. It means accepting our weaknesses and considering that they might actually be strengths, too. It means taking a long look at ourselves and saying with God that what He made and what I am becoming is good. Like my mom always quotes, "God doesn't make screw-ups!"

I am a very quirky, sometimes clutzy, deeply loving, wonderfully awkward, randomly adventurous, slightly spacy, always analytical, exceptionally nerdy woman. I can be impatient at times, especially with myself. I am a mess, but God's grace is making me new everyday. I am learning to EMBRACE me...all of me. It is quite liberating. You should try it. :)

Waiting WITH

So...at first glance, the "Word of the Week" last week did not go well. In fact, this week found me possibly more impatient and unwilling to WAIT than usual. Perhaps this is because Tax Day came and went (along with some money, I might add...). Or maybe it is because I spent the better part of another week WAITING to see what the future holds for me both vocationally and personally. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that all I really did last week was WAIT: for the weekend, for Jason to come home, for e-mails, for phone calls. Needless to say, I did not WAIT well. It was a somewhat frustrating week. I was terribly aware of the WAITING and not-so-good-at-it. I am not entirely proud of this fact.

All excuses aside for my attitude toward the many ways I am WAITING lately, I do think I learned a little something this week. I learned that I cannot WAIT alone. I need to let myself WAIT with God, with Jason, with family and friends. I need to wait forwardly and expectantly, trusting in God to guide and provide. Herein lies the problem, really. I try too hard to WAIT alone and I lack the necessary trust in God most of the time. I have these pockets of realization that I cannot go it alone and they are hopeful and freeing moments. I need to give in to them much more. This will make the WAITING - no matter how long - much less frustrating and much more life-giving.

You see, we are called to live while we WAIT. We are not just to sit idly by and WAIT for whatever is next. The Scriptures point to an active WAITING for God and, more specifically, WAITING for His return. We are to be watchful, alert, and decidedly not alone. In that beloved passage in Isaiah that is quoted and printed everywhere, the prophet says, "THEY that WAIT upon the Lord will renew THEIR strength..." (40:31). The Psalms encourage us to "wait in expectation" (3:3). Psalm 33 even encourages singing and making music to the Lord as we "wait in hope" for the Lord who is worthy of our trust (20).

I am determined to be better at this WAITING thing. If it is a theme of my life right now I had better make my peace with it. This brings me to the new word of the week. WITH. I think this little preposition is a powerful one. It came to me while I was reflecting on WAITING. There is no better way to WAIT than WITH: the Lord, my full-of-faith-and-trust husband, and the countless others God has graciously given me. I am excited about reflection on our new word of the week and maybe learning to WAIT better because of it!

{The picture above is from the Victory Gardens at Callaway Garden's in Pine Mountain, Georgia...just minutes from our home! I included it because it reminds me that while we must WAIT, there is beauty on the otherside of the WAITING. It also reminds me that it takes a lot of time and care for such a result.}

Word of the Week: WAIT

WAIT. The word of the week has been a theme in my life for the last few months. I seem to always be WAITING. I am well-versed in WAITING. Sometimes I have a fantastically optimistic view of it. Much more often than I'd like to admit, I have a less-than-stellar attitude about it. I know that God's timing is rarely ours and I can tell you with confidence that it is better. I can say that with ease on the other side of the WAITING. But when I am in it I often find myself discouraged, impatient, frustrated, and lonely. I am hoping that reflecting on the word ::WAIT:: will alter my perspective...and yours.

Thoughts on Holy Love

"We have all but eliminated the truth of God's holiness. God is, indeed, love; but intimate love is terrifying. The love that was revealed at Calvary is not a casual thing to be toyed with or presumed upon. Casual love would have smiled benignly at the evil...Holy love was grieved to the heart." - Dr. J. Ellsworth Kalas

"The entire plan for the future has its key in the resurrection." - Billy Graham

"And He departed from our sight that we might return to our heart, and there find Him. For He departed, and behold He is here." - St. Augustine

Word of the Week: HOLY

Given that it is Holy Week, I thought it appropriate for the word of the week to be HOLY. There is a lot to be said about that little word. It often brings to mind more negative thoughts than positive. We hear the word HOLY and think holier-than-thou and want no part of it. Or we hear that we are called to be HOLY and cower, feeling anything but. The word HOLY often either makes us want to run or makes us feel inferior. This should not be.

HOLY is what God is. It is also what we are when we connect ourselves to Him. It is not something we can attain on our own. Our attempts to be HOLY apart from God are what has made it a four-letter-word in the worst sense to us.

Let's contemplate the holiness of God in this the holiest of weeks. I believe that doing so will only help to make of us more HOLY creatures. Consider it an experiment in holiness.

Word of the Week

My little sister inspired this blog post. I am not sure she meant to, but she did. I was reading her blog (see "Jenny and Matt" on the sidebar) and she had capitalized a couple of words in her blog for emphasis. I think it was because those were the words that she was replaying in her mind that particular day/week as she adjusts to her new marriage and life in Green Bay. Anyhow, it made me think that maybe having a "word of the week" might be a good idea for my own life. I've been contemplating this for several days. It may seem a little cheesy or hokey, but...I think it might be just what I need. God-inspired? Maybe. My sister is a pretty godly woman, so if she inspired me then God is in it.

My thought is that this weekly word might help to center my thoughts during an otherwise busy day. It might serve to stop me from doing or saying something I shouldn't. It might bring joy, inspire, encourage, challenge, and strengthen me and others I encounter. So, I'm going for it. I hope it helps you, too. I'll post a new word weekly (maybe more than one a week here and there?). Feel free to post your thoughts on that word or let me know how it might be helping you. Blogging at its best breeds community and we need to hear from each other.

The word of the week for this week is: HONOR. Truthfully, I've been trying to think of a more interesting word for the week. I could not escape this one. I guess this means that God has impressed this on my mind for some reason. The word comes from the passage I read in Asbury Theological Seminary's Spring Reader 2009. I just received my paper copy in the mail because it went to my old address. I am loving it so far and have even gone back to look at previous days/weeks. You can access the reader online each day here if you are needing something to walk you through Lent and Eastertide. It is pretty fantastic. It has a passage, spiritual exercises, and prayers and thoughts from the saints through the ages (speaking my language!!).

HONOR. Think about it. Commit it to memory. Listen...to God and others. Share your thoughts with God and those around you.

Wise Words

The quote below is taken from, quite possibly, the best book written on the subject of Christian community (other than the Bible itself, of course). It is a short book, but there is so much packed into those pages. It is a lot like The Practice of the Presence of God (Lawrence) in that way. It may seem small, but the contents are so rich it seems huge. I think it is a must-read for Christians. I promise you'll return to it again and again and you'll find something new and insightful each time.

I am posting this because I am still in that stage of considering the power of words - mine, yours, God's, etc. If all my words came from a place like that which is described below...well, life would be bliss. I am learning, though, that sometimes I will: say the wrong thing, hear the wrong thing, read the wrong thing, and/or fail to speak when I should. This is not a startling reality, but a frustrating one nonetheless. Especially for a frustrated perfectionist like myself. It is...messy. Life always is. I know will not always choose right, as I am an imperfect and fallen human being. However, this is no excuse. I plan to do my best to remember Bonhoeffer's words and let them inform my own.

"He who would learn to serve must first learn to think little of himself. Let no man 'think of himself more highly than he ought to think' (Romans 12:3). 'To have no opinion of ourselves and think always well and highly of others is great wisdom and perfection,' said Thomas a Kempis.

Only he who lives by the forgiveness of his sin in Jesus Christ will rightly think little of himself. He will know that his own wisdom reached the end of its tether when Jesus forgave him."

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together

Words that Hurt and...Heal

I once had a friend challenge me to fast from words. He thought it would be a good idea if I learned the art of silence. This is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, regularly engaging in such an exercise might be very beneficial to our spiritual, emotional, and social well-being (and that of others). However, this was not the case with this particular fast. I do not believe now that my friend's motives were pure when he suggested I do so. He had a bent for putting God's name on whatever he thought I (or someone else) should be working on at the time.

Because of his own words, I began to see my own as unimportant, unworthy, and unnecessary. If and when I did speak up and/or ask questions, I did so with a gnawing sense of inadequacy and unworthiness. All of this just prior to my first preaching class in seminary. Not good.

Fast forward to a new semester. I begin preaching class, horrified to find out that we must deliver each sermon without notes. I believe I told someone that it sounded a lot like a lamb being fit for slaughter. I entered with raging insecurities as to my ability to deliver a word at all, much less a word from the Lord! This is ironic, given my long history in speech, drama, and public speaking. I had delivered many a speech or drama scene in my life.

After much prayer (about said anxieties and concerns) and preparation (as every sermon demands), I delivered my first sermon with relative ease. I may have been a little tied to my words (as per Dr. Kalas) and a little speedy in my delivery (as noticed by myself), but it went mostly well. Dr. Kalas told me in so many words that I did have something to say and he was glad to hear it. Each new sermon delivered in that class brought with it constructive criticism and encouragement. The fear was still and will always be there. But, as Dr. K always said in class, "We should approach the delivering of a sermon with a measure of fear, as we are representing God Himself."

It was only on the other side of this first preaching class that I could pinpoint the reason for my initial anxiety about preaching class. I began to realize how I had allowed one person's criticism to shape me and tell me I was less than I was. All because he put God's name on something that might not have been from God.

I believe we can know when such a word is from God and not from man. God's word to us is always life-giving and good. Yes, the Lord disciplines those He loves, but it always comes from a place of deep love and mercy. God's thoughts toward me are good. To summarize Andrew Murray, "I am his delight and all His desire is in me." He thinks I have something worth saying and it is He who empowers me to say it (or encourages me not to!).

Don't get me wrong, I believe in the value of fasting, silence, and solitude. Ask anyone who knows me well and they will tell you as much. I am very passionate about engaging in the spiritual disciplines, most notably fasting and silence. However, I am also now careful to discern whether God is calling for it or I am allowing someone else to speak it into my life.

I have many more thoughts swirling around in my head about the power of words. I'll share those as I get them organized in my mind. Suffice it to say that marriage and life-in-general are teaching me a lot - good and bad - about this these days!

Words

God is lately (and again) teaching me the value of words. I am re-learning the power of words in general - spoken and unspoken. Words have the dynamic and sometimes dangerous power to create and to destroy. Words are sometimes best kept to ourselves and other times necessary (for encouragement, care, rebuke, etc.). I have many thoughts on this subject and want to write more. However, it is late and I am weary from pre-wedding festivities for my little sister right now. I promise to expound more on this in a few days. I imagine my two or three readers will be holding their breath waiting for the forthcoming blog! :)

On the Little Town of Bethlehem

I really resonate with the lectionary for this season. It is just so rich and far-reaching. I find myself identifying with Zechariah in his doubt. With Mary in her awe. With John in his poetic description of the incarnation. Each one speaks to a different part of me.

I must confess that in the past I spent little time on the Old Testament passages of the season. Other than the ones from Isaiah, of course. One such passage was Micah 5:2-5. It didn't seem to have anything new to say. That is not the case for me anymore. In the last couple of years, this has become one of my favorite passages for the season of Christmas (along with John 1:1-14).

I've always loved the Christmas hymn "O Little Town of Bethlehem" by Phillips Brooks. The carefully chosen words and beautiful melody of this song follow me throughout the month of December. These words have taken on new meaning as I've come to understand a little more about Bethlehem.

Bethlehem was not just a small town. Eugene Peterson calls this insignificant, undistinguished village of Judah, "the runt of the litter" (Micah 5:2). There was really nothing special about it.

And yet God chose this most ordinary place as the setting for the most extraordinary event: the birth of our Savior. This is befitting the redemptive nature of our creative God. We - or at least I - almost miss the significance of the place where God's presence came to dwell among us.

The significance of the choice of this little insignificant village for the birth of our Savior doesn't stop with its location and population. That would be enough for us, wouldn't it? To know that God delights to use the commonplace to accomplish his uncommon purposes should tell us all we need to know about our God and what he can do with our seemingly insignificant lives. But there's more...

The real beauty of Bethlehem is in the meaning of Bethlehem itself. It comes from the Greek words "Bet" and "Lehem." These words are literally translated "House of" and "Bread," respectively. So, Bethlehem literally means "House of Bread." Is there any more perfect place for the birth of our Savior, the true "Bread of Life"?

The creativity of our God astounds me. "How silently, How silently the wondrous gift is given" in a little town in Bethlehem and in the quiet of our hearts. May our Lord Emmanuel come to you and abide with you this Christmas season in a new/old way...quietly and completely.

Amen.

Word(s)

So, I stumbled across this random book in my house called Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC by Frederick Buechner this weekend. I love Buechner, but I think I picked this particular book up in a coffee shop in Wilmore for a couple of dollars and haven't picked it up since. I was thumbing through it this weekend and stumbled across an entry for "Word." Here's just a sampling of what I found...

"Words are power, essentially the power of creation. By my words I both discover and create who I am. By my words I elicit a word from you. Through our converse we create each other.

When God said, 'Let there be light,' there was light where before there was only darkness. When I say I love you, there is love where before there was only ambiguous silence. In a sense, I do not love you first and then speak it, but only by speaking it give it reality."

This is just a sampling of what Buechner had to say about "word." He begins the section noting that in Hebrew the term dabar actually means "word" and "deed." So, to say something is to do something. That is certainly the case in the Word. In the Old and New Testaments, the power of a word is felt from Genesis to Revelation. Creation began in conversation. Covenants between God and man were created through conversation. The Word became flesh and lived among us...There were a thousand conversations between creation and the incarnation and there have been scores since.

I cannot help but think of the passage in John 15 as I type this blog. It is the one about the vine and the branches. But nestled in the imagery is a statement I have never been able to shake or fully comprehend.

"You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you." - John 15:3

And what has the Lord spoken to me (and you) but light and life...faith and favor...grace and goodness...care and compassion...mercy and love? His words mean everything to me (us). I (We) struggle sometimes to believe them. I (we) often put words in his mouth. But everything he has spoken to me (us) is good...I (We) would do well to remember that.

Irresistible Love

"Love talked about is easily turned aside. Love demonstrated is irresistible." -- Stanley Mooneyham

A lifetime ago a girl named Joy Shupe wrote those words in my high school yearbook. Underneath those words, she wrote things that I am still struggling to live into in my life. She said that Mooneyham's words described me and that I was her "personal Barnabas." I didn't even know who Barnabas was at that point in my life, so how could I be like him?! I read what she wrote to me so many times that I still (14+ years later) have almost every word of what she wrote committed to memory. Her words are both encouraging and challenging. They have followed me around ever since...

The beauty of what Joy Shupe did for me that day is that she spoke into my life something I did not see in myself. I still do not know what I might have done that would have inspired her to say something like that to me. What I do know is that ever since I read her words in my high school yearbook, I have tried to really live into them. I want those words to be true of me more and more each day...

I haven't spoken to Joy in years, but I think about her all the time. That quote and her words have shaped who I am and who I want to be. I want to be a person of "irresistible love." The kind of love that never stops giving. The kind of love that inspires and challenges others. The kind of love my friend Joy Shupe had for me...

Breathless Expectation

May 1, 2006
I am a woman of words. I love old quotes and prayers. I collect them. I have found this running collection of quotes to be both inspiring and encouraging. It is a practice I sort of stumbled onto and one I'd recommend to anyone. Its difficult to give into despair when you have a thousand quotes tucked away in a book and/or your memory that inspire and uplift.

My phrase-of-the-day comes from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. A number of quotes from this timeless devotional replay in my head almost daily. This one promises to be no different.

Breathless expectation.

The quote was passed along to me by a friend who knows well my bent for worrying. Chambers speaks of gracious uncertainty and the idea that certainty of God means uncertainty in life. Gracious uncertainty that gives way to breathless expectation.

I want to live now in the gracious uncertainty and breathless expectation of abandon to God and His plans for my life. I long to live in the joyful uncertainty and expectancy that knows and trusts that God will take care of me. May it be so...