Cultivating Contentment

So, I am currently reading this book with a couple of friends here in Auburn. My little sister has been trying to get me to read it ever since she did in her own small group. I think life and ministry kept me so busy that I just never did. Also, there's that whole "God's perfect timing" thing going on here, too. See, the book is about finding contentment and purpose wherever life finds you. Suffice it to say that there are more than a few things lingering out there for me right now that pull me more to discontentment than contentment. This book is forcing me to take a long heard look at my heart. This is both good and bad. Well, it is only really bad because I am realizing how prone to wander I really am.

The book is also teaching me that contentment, just like faith and all things related to God, is a choice. When the things of life seem overwhelming and discouraging, I can choose not to dwell on them. These are things I already knew, really...this book is just reminding me of it at a time when I really need reminding.

If you're a woman of faith, you really ought to read this book. It will force you to be honest with yourself. It will challenge you in a thousand ways. It will change your relationship with God and those you love in your life...for the better. The great thing about this book is that it carefully recalls The Book and offers biblical principles for fighting worry in your life. I think I like it because the author shares real stories and offers practical insight into why we worry and how to release it. It doesn't paint some idealistic picture of how knowing God makes us into instant saints. It acknowledges the struggle that we fight on the journey, specifically as women. It is a great book for Christian women in a genre that is otherwise (in my opinion) saturated with the idealistic and unrealistic.

Also, any book that quotes the likes of Elisabeth Elliot (a picture of authenticity herself), A.W. Tozer, Oswald Chambers and others gets my vote. I have often found that checking the endnotes in a book is telling of the depth of any given book. This one is no exception.

Article Link

I thought I'd share what I would consider an excellent "Top Ten List: Top Devotional Books" from a great professor at Asbury Theological Seminary. Dr. Kinghorn is a professor at Asbury and, most importantly, a man after God's own heart. He is an honest, earnest man with a love for God that is evident in his teaching and his life.

I have used and will certainly return to some of the resources on his list. The others are on my mental list of ones to use in the future. Off the top of my head, my own personal list would also include:
Reflections for Ragamuffins by Brennan Manning
Bread for the Journey by Henri Nouwen
A Testament of Devotion by Thomas Kelly
This Day with the Master by Dennis Kinlaw

Enjoy Dr. Kinghorn's list. I hope it helps in your own search for a meaningful, encouraging, and challenging devotional. Feel free to share your own favorites through my blog comments!

The Fruit of the Spirit is Patience...

I am the Quote Queen, so I thought I'd share a couple of nuggets from a book I've read a couple of times. I highly recommend it to anyone seeking meaning and purpose and wrestling with the things of God and life in general. It is called An Incomplete Guide to the Rest of Your Life by Stan Gaede. I am pretty sure I've mentioned it before on my blog. Enjoy these nuggets on patience and trusting God.

"God is God...and we are not. And there is absolutely nothing in Scripture - from beginning to end - to suggest that God intends to operate on our timetable. Quite the reverse. God does almost nothing according to our calendar, and he tells us nothing - not a thing- about how he has numbered our days. What he gives us in abundance are evidences of his faithfulness to those who love him. That we know for sure. But he rarely tells us what's in store for us just around the corner." (p.43)


"...God does not do what we expect him to do precisely because is infinitely more gracious and merciful than we would ever be in a million years. God is inscrutable precisely because he is unbelievably longsuffering and infinitely loving.

Unbelievably. That's why patience is a fruit of the spirit, by the way. Because it doesn't come naturally to us. But it does come naturally to God. Which is why we don't always understand him. And why others will not always understand us when we are patient and longsuffering because of the Spirit's work in our lives." (p.45-46)

And so we trust, hope, believe, and hold on, remembering that God has a history of steadfast love and redemption. His plans have not changed simply because our circumstances are not ideal at the moment. In his infinitely love he will make all things new and bring it all together for good. Always has, always will...

The Naked Truth

"Jesus, it seems to me, would teach...that it is always a privilege to help anybody, because all men are of the same caste, the very highest caste. They are all sons of God. They are men in which God dwells. And, indeed, I think it is not poetic fancy merely, but the naked truth. That by coming to men with nothing but a loving desire to help them you do actually come near to God Himself; perhaps nearer than when you kneel before the altar."

This is yet another quote from the remarkable book I've been talking about in the last few posts, Leslie Weatherhead's The Transforming Friendship. I love this one because it speaks to the deepest part of me. It just sums it all up for me. It warms me to read something like this. It also convicts me to the core.

How many sermons have we heard on "The Naked Truth" that dealt more with what we should or should not do as Christians than on living a life of love? We are so busy trying to fix everyone and make them more like us when the image of God Himself resides in them somewhere already. We need to find a way to see that and call that forth in each other rather than trying to fix or change people because they make us uncomfortable.

I read once , "To love another person is to see the image of God in them. That unique spark entrusted only to them..." (I read this in the fanstastic book Becoming Friends: Worship, Justice, and the Practice of Christian Friendship by Paul J. Waddell). I am always so grateful when others see past my obvious imperfections and look instead for Jesus in me. I want to do this more often with others I encounter, in friends and in those that frustrate me. I know that doing so would make me a much more patient, gracious person. It would soften my spirit and make me more like Jesus. Most importantly of all, it would bring me closer to God Himself. And nothing but good can come of that connection!

Weatherhead has really done nothing more in this book than remind us of what Jesus instructed us to do throughout His earthly ministry: love God and love people. So simple and yet so complex. Really it is only complex because we make it that way. If we would stop and seek to see God in each person we encounter (and I would argue most especially ourselves first, as this enables us to see it in others) we would find ourselves more content and more at peace...with ourselves and others.

I know some people who are already seasoned veterans at this and I envy them a little. I long to be more like that myself. I'm done talking about it. I think I'm going to go for it! Want to join me?

"Them" or Him?

The real glorious thing about The Transforming Friendship is that Weatherhead's idea that Christianity is essentially the acceptance of the friendship of Jesus is anything but fluffy. So often we hear it said or read somewhere that Jesus is our "Friend." But what follows is a soft description of friendship that doesn't at all add up to the Jesus of the gospels and what He asks of us.

Weatherhead warns against this kind of interpretation over and over again. He even strongly suggests, "Religion has become a soft and flabby and aesthetic thing...We are all attracted by Christ, but we are held back by a thousand things." For some, this might simply be the appearance of things. We know that communion with God would afford us the freedom and peace we so desire. But we find ourselves so consumed with worry about what other people think "until in the end we care more for what they all think than what the eternal Christ thinks.

And who are "they"? I ask myself this question all the time. When someone tells me, "They say" this-or-that or I find myself worried about what people will think if I do this-or-that, I am faced with this question. Who are "they" and why do I care about what "they" think. I know who Jesus is...and what He thinks counts more than the opinions of "them," whoever "they" are.

I think deep down inside of us we know why we listen to "them" instead of Him. We have this fear that God might ask of us and do more than we could ever imagine. So, we listen to "them," limit ourselves, and settle for far less than our potential. All in the name of fitting in to the status quo.

But friendship with Jesus - the real, transformative kind - offers us so much more. It demands all...and gives all. Accepting the friendship of Jesus will make you more yourself than you will ever be listening to "them" instead of Him.

"A Friend Alive Forevermore..."

I am still soaking everything in that I read in The Transforming Friendship by Leslie D. Weatherhead. I have been thinking a lot about the points he raised in this incredible book. Mostly, the concept of God in Jesus as Friend. This is a huge concept. It is one we speak of often, but scarcely understand. We call Jesus our friend, but we have no real idea what that entails. For many, the concept of friend in general is all but antiseptic. To call Jesus a friend is to really call him an "acquaintance" or someone we sometimes spend time with or speak to from time-to-time. This is not the kind of friendship God offers to us in Jesus. It is so much more...

Weatherhead talks a lot in the beginning of the book about the friendship between Jesus and his disciples, most especially between the Resurrection and the Ascension. He speaks of the "strange appearings" of Jesus after the resurrection.

"What do these strange appearings and disappearings mean? They are His perfect way of making [the Disciples] feel that He is never far away. He does not seem to be there. Then He breaks in upon them, always knows what has happened, always takes charge of the situation, until they never know when they may become aware of Him...The experience becomes richer. They feel that He is never absent. Communion now will mean as much as it did when they could Hear His voice, see His face, and touch Him."

What did this do for them? Everything. These indescribable experiences of true community with Christ gave them the strength, power and confidence to spread hope to the world. These moments were life-changing enough to those who experienced them that they were willing to die for the chance just to tell others about it. That is the kind of friendship Jesus offered while He was on earth and, perhaps all the more between his Resurrection and Ascension.

To truly walk through life with the Friendship of Jesus is to be transformed like the Disciples in those final days between the Resurrection and Ascension. For, "Christianity is meaningless unless this friendship can do as much for us. What Jesus once was, He is eternally." What a beautiful, blessed thought! Isn't this what we all long for in this life? And it is available to us...now.

I know this post is heavy in quotes, but Weatherhead says it all so well! Let me leave you with one more for the road. Let this one sink in...

"I want to say to all who are worshiping a picture of Jesus in a frame called History - to people who are beaten in their lonely toilsome effort to be like the Hero of that picture - that there is a richer experience than they have yet known. If they will sit down quietly He will come out of the picture into their life. A little faith - that kind of effortless prayer which is the leaving of the heart's door upon the latch - and the Guest will come as often as you want Him, and you will be carried further than a whole year of fussy striving would take you; for He is not a ghost of the dead past, but a friend alive forevermore."

A "Transforming" Book

"[W]e may try to alter our lives by good resolutions and intentions, but imitations and effort, but how fruitless it all is until we open our lives to His friendship and are transformed...not from without, but from within...

God may not want to make us poets or painters or pianists, but He does want to make us saints. So He offers to all this gift - the gift of a new life. You can use your willpower, and that will take you part of the way. You can use your brains, and they will take you a little way. You can imitate, and that may take you a little way. But all these things together in music and art and poetry, and in life, will never take you as far as a gift will take you." - Leslie D. Weatherhead

Of late I have been reading a real gem of a book called The Transforming Friendship by Leslie D. Weatherhead. The above quote is from that remarkable book. The subtitle itself is inviting: "A Book About Jesus and Ourselves." Such a simple description from a book that is beautifully simple itself. This was one of those books I have had on my shelf for ages and just never took the time to read. I picked it up to thumb through it a few weeks ago and feel in love with it. It was an incredible, insightful read(just 120 pages!). One of those books you are a slightly sad to finish because you just want more.

The book gets to the heart of what it means to enter into a friendship with God. Not the fluffy, life-is-perfect-and-so-am-I kind of friendship, but the real kind. The kind where we bring our real selves to Jesus and just receive the gift of His friendship. No ceaseless striving, no dancing for men's eyes (or God's, for that matter...), no false-selves. Just us and Jesus.

I cannot begin to do this book justice in a blog. However, I would like to share/reflect on some of the great things Weatherhead had to say in the next couple of blogs. It is all just too good not to share. If you can find a copy of it somewhere, grab it. I think it may be out-of-print, but there are copies out there being sold and given away and this book is invaluable! I am pretty sure I obtained mine because my mom grabbed it when the library at my home church was closing. I am so glad she did. I feel sure it is a book I will return to again and again.

I promise to share more excerpts and thoughts in the next few blogs...

A Few More Thoughts on Prayer

Here are a few more prayers that I love...

"Lord, send me anywhere, Only go with me;
Lay any burden on me, Only sustain me.
Sever any tie, Save the tie that binds me to Thy heart—
Lord Jesus, my King, I consecrate my life, Lord, to Thee." - David Livingstone

"Lord, Thou knowest what I want if it be Thy will that I should have it. If it be not Thy will, do not be displeased. For I want nothing which Thou doest not want for me." - Julian of Norwich

"Take my lips and speak through them, take my mind and think through it..." - Francis Havergal (He is also the man who wrote "Take My Life and Let It Be"...also a good prayer in and of itself!)

And some thoughts on prayer that have informed my own...

“Everybody prays whether [you think] of it as praying or not. The odd silence you fall into when something very beautiful is happening or something very good or very bad. The 'Ah-h-h-h!' that sometimes floats up out of you as out of a Fourth of July crowd when the sky-rocket bursts over the water. The stammer of pain at somebody else's pain. The stammer of joy at somebody else's joy. Whatever words or sounds you use for sighing with over your own life. These are all prayers in their way. These are all spoken not just to yourself but to God.” - Buechner

"Prayer is first of all listening to God. It's openness. God is always speaking; he's always doing something. Prayer is to enter into that activity. ... Convert your thoughts into prayer. As we are involved in unceasing thinking, so we are called to unceasing prayer. The difference is not that prayer is thinking about other things, but that prayer is thinking in dialogue... a conversation with God." - Henri Nouwen

"To pray is to let Jesus into our lives." - O Hallesby

I long for constant conversation with God on the things of life. I long to learn the "unforced rhythms of grace" (Matthew 11:28-30, "The Message"). This is the stuff of life, where true transformation and beauty begins. I am sure of it. Days when I and my thoughts are in connection with God, all goes better. I feel free...beautiful...content. These days are not without their glitches and problems, they are just checkered with grace and mercies ever new. I want a life where everyday is like that. And on those that aren't, I want to release it to God and move on. Want to join me?

Real Prayer Experiment

A few posts ago I made the comment that we often avoid or put off prayer because we think we do not have time for it. I believe that this is due in large part to a complete misunderstanding of what prayer truly is.

Let me just say at the outset that I believe that we must come apart for times of concentrated, on-your-knees, fervent prayer times. It is vital to the Christian life to find time to do this. I have been blessed beyond measure by finding a solitary place - be it a porch in the wilderness, a chair in my bedroom, or a chapel in a church somewhere - to pray, to breathe, and to listen.

However...

I believe these rare moments of solitary prayer are fortified by the day-to-day, moment-by-moment prayers we offer to God as we draw each breath. Much of my prayer time is like this. I think of a person or situation that concerns me or brings me joy and offer a quick (or sometimes not-so-quick!) prayer to God. I am convinced this is what it really means to "pray continually." Doing so purifies our thoughts, halts our worries, and can even bring us joy.

So, why do we not do more of this? I can say with confidence that I am a much more joyful, peaceful person when I approach each day this way. The opposite is true when I fail to do so. Without constant prayer, I find myself much more worried, stressed, depressed, and frustrated.

I propose an experiment. Say a simple prayer at the start of each day (or as you are reading this, even!) for the next week. Ask God to guide your heart and thoughts to Him, to "take captive every thought" to Him (2 Cor. 10:5), and "fix your eyes" on Him (Hebrews 12:2). Write your own brief prayer and memorize it. Use it to bookend your day for the next week and see if you don't find yourself praying constantly throughout the day because you've given it to God. I personally need to enter into this experiment. I don't know why I ever get out of the habit of doing this. I can always tell when I have broken the habit. Unfortunately, so can everyone else!

Godspeed to you as you seek to "pray without ceasing" this week!

Here are a couple of brief prayers I find myself praying all the time. I'll post more from my extensive collection (I love the saints!) in the next few days. Enjoy these...and post any of your own!

"God of your goodness, give me of Yourself, for you are sufficient for me." - Julian of Norwich

"Eternal God, my Sovereign Lord, I acknowledge all that I am, all that I have is Yours. Give me such a sense of Your infinite goodness that I may return to you all possible love and obedience." - John Wesley

It seems I have gone almost a month without a new blog post! For this I am terribly sorry. I am especially sorry since I promised some more thoughts on prayer. I promise those are forth-coming. I started the post just a few days after the first one, actually. Then life happened and I have just been unable to complete it. I'll work on posting it soon.

For now I am enjoying some time at the beach. It is a lovely thing to fall asleep to the sound of the waves. I am hoping this will clear my head and help me finish my thoughts on prayer. I have certainly been learning a lot about it lately...

I'll leave you with the following fantastic quotes until I am able to finish the other post:

"Prayer is a rare gift, not a popular, ready gift. Prayer is not the fruit of natural talent; it is the product of faith, of holiness, of deeply spiritual character." - E.M. Bounds

"We learn to pray as we learn to love..." - E.M. Bounds

Real Prayer

"Of all the duties enjoined by Christianity none is more essential and yet more neglected than prayer." --François Fénelon

I find it ironic that there are so many books out there on prayer these days. It is ironic because many Christians will tell you that they don't pray enough or that they don't know how to pray. I think this is due in large part to a misunderstanding of what it means to pray.

Let me offer a brief disclaimer or two before I expound on that last thought.

Disclaimer #1: Many of the books on prayer that are out there are exceptional. A favorite of mine is Richard Foster's Prayer: Finding the Heart's True Home. As with many of his books, Foster is quick to quote the saints and other great giants of the faith through the ages. I also enjoy just about anything by E.M. Bounds as he has much to say on the matter. Another favorite of mine is The Meaning of Prayer by great preacher Harry Emerson Fosdick. I picked up a tattered copy of this book (for $1!) simply because I liked the title. It has become a treasure to me. Fosdick offers insights about prayer and prayers of the saints throughout. There are countless others that I have been exposed to through my love of the saints and spiritual formation. Suffice it to say that many of the resources on prayer that are out there are worth your time.

Disclaimer #2: No book out there will teach you how to pray. In fact, I'd be leery of any book that say that it could. There are a fair share of formulas out there, some more useful than others. But no formula will teach you how to pray. Prayer is deeply personal and different for everyone. Let that last thought soak in and you will be liberated!

Well, since it seems my disclaimers took up much of the blog, I think I'll save my further thoughts on prayer for the next post. What's already written is enough to think about for the weekend, don't you think?

Spicing it Up!

I decided the other day to try and find a recipe for all of the spices on my spice rack. It seems so unfair for some to be used and some to just hold a place on the rack and collect dust. So, I'm on a mission. If you have great recipes for random spices (um...marjoram?!), send them my way!

The first spice is chili powder. This is one of the often-used spices on my rack. I have plenty of recipes that call for it, but this one is a favorite. It is so yummy! I think Jason would eat it at least once a week if I'd let him. Enjoy!

Tostada Pizza
1 lb. lean ground beef
¾ cup water
1 4½-ounce can diced green chili peppers, drained
½ of a 1½-ounce envelope taco seasoning mix (about 2 T)
1 tsp. chili powder
2 T cornmeal
2 cups packaged biscuit mix
½ cup cold water
1 15-ounce can refried beans
1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese (I use 2% Mexican Blend)
1 cup shredded lettuce
1 medium tomato, chopped
½ cup thinly sliced green onions (optional)

In a large skillet, cook ground beef until brown. Drain well. Stir in the ¾ cup water, chili peppers, taco seasoning mix, and chili powder. Simmer, uncovered, about 15 minutes or until thick.

Meanwhile, generously grease a 12- to 14-inch pizza pan. Sprinkle with the cornmeal. In a medium mixing bowl stir together the biscuit mix and the ½ cup cold water with a fork until dough follows fork around the bowl. With floured fingers, pat dough into bottom and up edge of prepared pan.. Spread refried beans over dough. Spoon meat mixture over refried beans.

Bake, uncovered in a 450o oven for 18 to 20 minutes or until crust is golden brown. Sprinkle with the cheese. Bake for 3 to 5 minutes more or until cheese is melted. Top with lettuce, tomato, and green onions (if desired). If desired, serve with taco sauce (…it is perfectly yummy without! ).

This recipe is from Better Homes and Gardens: 75 Years of All-Time Favorites. An excellent cookbook that I inherited from my grandma with lots of delicious recipes!

Listening and Loving

"The first duty of love is to listen." -- Paul Tillich

I shoplifted the above quote from another blog that I enjoy reading. The blog is of a friend I know only through his blogs. Somehow we have connected through the blogosphere and it has been an immense blessing to me. His words are raw and honest and deep. Plus, he has a rare love for the saints. Basically he speaks my language (maybe a little clearer and more intelligently than I do...). Often it seems God is teaching us similar things at the same time. Then there are times when I read a post and just find his thoughts fascinating and encouraging (see The Smell of Victory).If you are ever needing some encouragement or a challenge, venture on over to St. Cuthbert's Island. For starters, his post on the above quote is great.

I'll post my own thoughts on the quote from Tillich later. Suffice it to say this quote and my friend's thoughts on it convicted me in more than one area in my life. I am always working on being a better listener - to God, my husband, and my family. I am still learning...

Wise Words

"Time has been given to us to cause love to grow, and the success of our lives will be measured by how delicately and sensitively we have loved." - Brennan Manning

"We can proclaim with theological certainty in the power of the Word: God loves you as you are and not as you should be! Do you believe this? That God loves you beyond worthiness and unworthiness, beyond fidelity and infidelity, that he loves you in the mornings sun and the evening rain, that he loves you without caution, regret, boundary, limit, or breaking point?" - Brennan Manning

I just thought I'd share these two thoughts from my daily devotional with you today. These are from two completely different days, but I believe that the one (loving others) has much to do with other (allowing ourselves to be fully loved by God). Brennan Manning has a way with words. His words are at once convicting and encouraging. I dig that about him.

Off-Roading in the...Accord?

Jason and I were just minding our own business today, returning a movie to the store. We spot a turtle making its way across the parking lot. Not good. Yertle will soon be a pancake if we do not intervene. Jason takes action and goes out to pick him up and take him to the grassy area behind the little shopping center. It was plush and nice, but...not good enough for my sweet hubby. Just minutes from our house is a luxurious state park. Only the best for Yertle.

So, we dump our box of emergency supplies in the trunk and put Yertle in there for the ride. He is decidedly timid, this turtle. He has gone farther into his shell than I have ever seen a turtle go. As we ride along, he decides to poke his head out just enough to see (still under his shell, of course...well-protected). He has a piece of grass stuck to the side of one eye. This concerns me. It concerns Jason more that it concerns me. Like I am going to stick my finger in there and retrieve it. I am not stupid! That turtle had some hard-core finger nails (ok...claws) and was in serious need of a manicure. I am not going to risk my own fingers for a piece of grass that Jason assures me, "The turtle will take care of that later." He is funny, my husband. I think I was making him nervous, petting the turtle and looking so closely at him and all. Honestly? The little guy looked strangely like "The Grinch" in the face. He had the same nose! Very Dr. Seuss. Hence the name "Yertle." I talked to him the whole way to the park, assuring him we were taking him to the spa of state parks. I am a dork.

The real fun began once we left Yertle in his plush new surroundings. I say "his," but I did not confirm the sex of the turtle. Not even sure how to do that. Nor do I really want to know...? Anyhow, I digress. Jason left Yertle on a path to the water. He watched to make sure he was ok and came back to the car. He got in the car, satisfied with his good deed, and proceeded to back out. We were just off the road, really no farther than you would be if you pulled over to the shoulder on the highway. But, did I mention we've been experiencing a bit of a tropical depression? Flash floods, storms, and the like for the past several days. Yep. There may have been a little mud. So....the wheels started spinning' and the mud started flying. I was mildly concerned that we might get stuck, but pretended not to be. Jason was highly frustrated, but somehow managed to maneuver the car side to side whilst spinning the wheels. A lot of mud and tire spinning later we skidded onto the road. It was crazy!

On the Road Again

I've been noticing personalized license plates a lot more lately. I am not sure why this is. Jason and I have been spending a good bit of time on the road as-of-late, but most of the ones that catch my eye are in-town. I saw one the other day on a BMW that said: FSHRHNT. One has to wonder just how much fishin' and huntin' is getting done in a Beamer! A random one on the road to Arkansas recently: ONJFAN. I am not sure I would've known what that was, except she had a license plate frame that said, "I'd rather be at an Olivia Newton John Concert." And she was maybe 25ish? It was funny. Just today I saw one that read: "CURRENT." Jason and I speculated that the dude driving the truck didn't have current tags for so time and chose the plate because he was irritated.

I see a few that make me smile/think, too. Religious ones, thoughtful ones, weird ones that don't seem to match the car and/or owner. I saw one just yesterday that caused an epiphany of sorts. It simply read: DONATE. I liked it because it was thought-provoking and a reminder to love generously. As I sat at the red light something else occurred to me, too. It shows what a complete nerd I am, but I think it is worth sharing nonetheless. The word "Nathan" in Hebrew means "giver, to give". The root word means "entrust, consecrate, yield" and other similiar ideas. I have always loved this word/name. So, as I was sitting there staring at the license plate, it dawned on me that donate = do give. I thought that this was pretty fascinating It would definitely preach/teach. This is especially true if you take it further with the root word meaning. Kinda cool, eh? :)

As a side note, I am "on the road" as I type. I think it is pretty cool that I can sit over here in the passenger seat and write a blog while my husband drives. Oh, the advances in technology! :)

Word of the Week: RELEASE

While spending a little quality time with my mom on one of our trips to Arkansas, she said something that really resonated with me. We were talking over a Snow Joe (My mom's favorite addiction at Books-A-Million) one day about life and things. More specifically, we were talking about communication in marriage. She has always been an advocate for sharing exactly what you are thinking and feeling with your husband/wife. We should always feel safe expressing our joys and concerns with our mates.

This is advice worth taking. However, doing this well requires great discernment. This is especially true on the "concerns" side of things. We should tell our spouses everything, but not without some sort of filter or waiting period on some things. We women fail at this a lot, I think. This is why men think we are nags. :) I am learning all about this. Jason does not think I am a nag (yet!) , but I do get the sense that I say to much at times and maybe step on his feelings on some things.

What my mom said to me that day came after I asked how and when I should talk to Jason about things that frustrate me. I started talking about one thing in particular and how I felt it hurt his feelings a little. She said, "You should definitely feel like you can say anything to your husband. But sometimes you get stuck on one thing or another, Julie. You have to learn to release some things. You can still talk to him about them when they happen, but...you've got to let them go after that." This might have bothered me a few years ago, but I saw a lot of truth in what she said. RELEASE it. It is especially hard for me to RELEASE something I feel like I have no control over. The issue we were talking about is one of those. I do need to learn to RELEASE my frustrations, LET GO of worries, and LAY ASIDE my opinions. She spoke the truth in love to me and I am doing my best to take hold of what she said while RELEASING other things. It is definitely easier said than done, but I'm trying!

Word of the Week: EMBRACE

Yea, so I missed a week. Sorry about that. I totally left y'all (the two or three readers out there...!) hanging on the "word of the week" last week. I think I needed a little longer to contemplate the whole WITH thing. That pesky little preposition is more complicated than it seems. Sometimes it seems like a four-letter-word in the worst sense. Maybe it is because I pride myself on being fiercely independent when, in reality, I need people. I need God. And at the same time, I have this not-so-great-or-holy desire to go it alone. Me thinks I am more stubborn than independent most of the time.

I like to think that I am relatively independent and somewhat adventurous. A quick look back on my life will show you that I am not afraid to embark on something new. I am proud of that fact. It also takes me forever to take that first step. I fight back fear every step of the way. Ironically, another look back on my life will reveal that some of the best decisions I have ever made were made with a somewhat spontaneous leap-of-faith (what can I say...I will always be somewhat cautious).

All of this and a couple of conversations with people over the past week have led me to the new word of the week. The word this week is: EMBRACE. I am thinking of this word in the sense of acceptance, peace, and surrender. You can define it however you like in the week ahead, but I am thinking about it in this way. We need to make peace with ourselves, surrender to who we are instead of the idealized version of ourselves. This doesn't mean we use who we are as an excuse not to grow. It means accepting our weaknesses and considering that they might actually be strengths, too. It means taking a long look at ourselves and saying with God that what He made and what I am becoming is good. Like my mom always quotes, "God doesn't make screw-ups!"

I am a very quirky, sometimes clutzy, deeply loving, wonderfully awkward, randomly adventurous, slightly spacy, always analytical, exceptionally nerdy woman. I can be impatient at times, especially with myself. I am a mess, but God's grace is making me new everyday. I am learning to EMBRACE me...all of me. It is quite liberating. You should try it. :)

Waiting WITH

So...at first glance, the "Word of the Week" last week did not go well. In fact, this week found me possibly more impatient and unwilling to WAIT than usual. Perhaps this is because Tax Day came and went (along with some money, I might add...). Or maybe it is because I spent the better part of another week WAITING to see what the future holds for me both vocationally and personally. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that all I really did last week was WAIT: for the weekend, for Jason to come home, for e-mails, for phone calls. Needless to say, I did not WAIT well. It was a somewhat frustrating week. I was terribly aware of the WAITING and not-so-good-at-it. I am not entirely proud of this fact.

All excuses aside for my attitude toward the many ways I am WAITING lately, I do think I learned a little something this week. I learned that I cannot WAIT alone. I need to let myself WAIT with God, with Jason, with family and friends. I need to wait forwardly and expectantly, trusting in God to guide and provide. Herein lies the problem, really. I try too hard to WAIT alone and I lack the necessary trust in God most of the time. I have these pockets of realization that I cannot go it alone and they are hopeful and freeing moments. I need to give in to them much more. This will make the WAITING - no matter how long - much less frustrating and much more life-giving.

You see, we are called to live while we WAIT. We are not just to sit idly by and WAIT for whatever is next. The Scriptures point to an active WAITING for God and, more specifically, WAITING for His return. We are to be watchful, alert, and decidedly not alone. In that beloved passage in Isaiah that is quoted and printed everywhere, the prophet says, "THEY that WAIT upon the Lord will renew THEIR strength..." (40:31). The Psalms encourage us to "wait in expectation" (3:3). Psalm 33 even encourages singing and making music to the Lord as we "wait in hope" for the Lord who is worthy of our trust (20).

I am determined to be better at this WAITING thing. If it is a theme of my life right now I had better make my peace with it. This brings me to the new word of the week. WITH. I think this little preposition is a powerful one. It came to me while I was reflecting on WAITING. There is no better way to WAIT than WITH: the Lord, my full-of-faith-and-trust husband, and the countless others God has graciously given me. I am excited about reflection on our new word of the week and maybe learning to WAIT better because of it!

{The picture above is from the Victory Gardens at Callaway Garden's in Pine Mountain, Georgia...just minutes from our home! I included it because it reminds me that while we must WAIT, there is beauty on the otherside of the WAITING. It also reminds me that it takes a lot of time and care for such a result.}

Julie Andrews Quote

I thought this quote from Julie Andrews was lovely. It seems to go with the theme of my blog somewhat with its talk of freedom. Also, I just love Julie Andrews. :)

"Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly." - Julie Andrews

It might be worth blogging about later, as it is pretty deep and thought-provoking...

Word of the Week: WAIT

WAIT. The word of the week has been a theme in my life for the last few months. I seem to always be WAITING. I am well-versed in WAITING. Sometimes I have a fantastically optimistic view of it. Much more often than I'd like to admit, I have a less-than-stellar attitude about it. I know that God's timing is rarely ours and I can tell you with confidence that it is better. I can say that with ease on the other side of the WAITING. But when I am in it I often find myself discouraged, impatient, frustrated, and lonely. I am hoping that reflecting on the word ::WAIT:: will alter my perspective...and yours.

Thoughts on Holy Love

"We have all but eliminated the truth of God's holiness. God is, indeed, love; but intimate love is terrifying. The love that was revealed at Calvary is not a casual thing to be toyed with or presumed upon. Casual love would have smiled benignly at the evil...Holy love was grieved to the heart." - Dr. J. Ellsworth Kalas

"The entire plan for the future has its key in the resurrection." - Billy Graham

"And He departed from our sight that we might return to our heart, and there find Him. For He departed, and behold He is here." - St. Augustine

Word of the Week: HOLY

Given that it is Holy Week, I thought it appropriate for the word of the week to be HOLY. There is a lot to be said about that little word. It often brings to mind more negative thoughts than positive. We hear the word HOLY and think holier-than-thou and want no part of it. Or we hear that we are called to be HOLY and cower, feeling anything but. The word HOLY often either makes us want to run or makes us feel inferior. This should not be.

HOLY is what God is. It is also what we are when we connect ourselves to Him. It is not something we can attain on our own. Our attempts to be HOLY apart from God are what has made it a four-letter-word in the worst sense to us.

Let's contemplate the holiness of God in this the holiest of weeks. I believe that doing so will only help to make of us more HOLY creatures. Consider it an experiment in holiness.

Word of the Week

My little sister inspired this blog post. I am not sure she meant to, but she did. I was reading her blog (see "Jenny and Matt" on the sidebar) and she had capitalized a couple of words in her blog for emphasis. I think it was because those were the words that she was replaying in her mind that particular day/week as she adjusts to her new marriage and life in Green Bay. Anyhow, it made me think that maybe having a "word of the week" might be a good idea for my own life. I've been contemplating this for several days. It may seem a little cheesy or hokey, but...I think it might be just what I need. God-inspired? Maybe. My sister is a pretty godly woman, so if she inspired me then God is in it.

My thought is that this weekly word might help to center my thoughts during an otherwise busy day. It might serve to stop me from doing or saying something I shouldn't. It might bring joy, inspire, encourage, challenge, and strengthen me and others I encounter. So, I'm going for it. I hope it helps you, too. I'll post a new word weekly (maybe more than one a week here and there?). Feel free to post your thoughts on that word or let me know how it might be helping you. Blogging at its best breeds community and we need to hear from each other.

The word of the week for this week is: HONOR. Truthfully, I've been trying to think of a more interesting word for the week. I could not escape this one. I guess this means that God has impressed this on my mind for some reason. The word comes from the passage I read in Asbury Theological Seminary's Spring Reader 2009. I just received my paper copy in the mail because it went to my old address. I am loving it so far and have even gone back to look at previous days/weeks. You can access the reader online each day here if you are needing something to walk you through Lent and Eastertide. It is pretty fantastic. It has a passage, spiritual exercises, and prayers and thoughts from the saints through the ages (speaking my language!!).

HONOR. Think about it. Commit it to memory. Listen...to God and others. Share your thoughts with God and those around you.

Wise Words

The quote below is taken from, quite possibly, the best book written on the subject of Christian community (other than the Bible itself, of course). It is a short book, but there is so much packed into those pages. It is a lot like The Practice of the Presence of God (Lawrence) in that way. It may seem small, but the contents are so rich it seems huge. I think it is a must-read for Christians. I promise you'll return to it again and again and you'll find something new and insightful each time.

I am posting this because I am still in that stage of considering the power of words - mine, yours, God's, etc. If all my words came from a place like that which is described below...well, life would be bliss. I am learning, though, that sometimes I will: say the wrong thing, hear the wrong thing, read the wrong thing, and/or fail to speak when I should. This is not a startling reality, but a frustrating one nonetheless. Especially for a frustrated perfectionist like myself. It is...messy. Life always is. I know will not always choose right, as I am an imperfect and fallen human being. However, this is no excuse. I plan to do my best to remember Bonhoeffer's words and let them inform my own.

"He who would learn to serve must first learn to think little of himself. Let no man 'think of himself more highly than he ought to think' (Romans 12:3). 'To have no opinion of ourselves and think always well and highly of others is great wisdom and perfection,' said Thomas a Kempis.

Only he who lives by the forgiveness of his sin in Jesus Christ will rightly think little of himself. He will know that his own wisdom reached the end of its tether when Jesus forgave him."

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together

On Being a Wife and a Child (of God)

I am constantly amazed at how being a wife is teaching me so much about what it means to be a child of God. I knew that marriage was a metaphor for our relationship with God (Father, Son, Spirit), but I never imagined how it would inform my daily walk. My husband is constantly showing me what real faith looks like in who he is and how he carries himself. He is always telling me that "God has got us" and "I love you very much, but what's more important is that God loves you and has a plan for you, for us." He is always saying things like this either literally or through his actions. I find this both inspiring and frustrating. Inspiring for the obvious reasons. Frustrating because I seem to get stuck in the knowing. It takes a little longer for me to really believe and trust something. I am not sure why this is...

Marriage is just another way that God is teaching me the power of words and living by His Word. My husband does this so well and I am learning from him how to trust Him better everyday. It is an interesting journey, a blessing really. What joy to walk through life with someone like this beside me to remind me who and Whose I am!

Words that Hurt and...Heal

I once had a friend challenge me to fast from words. He thought it would be a good idea if I learned the art of silence. This is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, regularly engaging in such an exercise might be very beneficial to our spiritual, emotional, and social well-being (and that of others). However, this was not the case with this particular fast. I do not believe now that my friend's motives were pure when he suggested I do so. He had a bent for putting God's name on whatever he thought I (or someone else) should be working on at the time.

Because of his own words, I began to see my own as unimportant, unworthy, and unnecessary. If and when I did speak up and/or ask questions, I did so with a gnawing sense of inadequacy and unworthiness. All of this just prior to my first preaching class in seminary. Not good.

Fast forward to a new semester. I begin preaching class, horrified to find out that we must deliver each sermon without notes. I believe I told someone that it sounded a lot like a lamb being fit for slaughter. I entered with raging insecurities as to my ability to deliver a word at all, much less a word from the Lord! This is ironic, given my long history in speech, drama, and public speaking. I had delivered many a speech or drama scene in my life.

After much prayer (about said anxieties and concerns) and preparation (as every sermon demands), I delivered my first sermon with relative ease. I may have been a little tied to my words (as per Dr. Kalas) and a little speedy in my delivery (as noticed by myself), but it went mostly well. Dr. Kalas told me in so many words that I did have something to say and he was glad to hear it. Each new sermon delivered in that class brought with it constructive criticism and encouragement. The fear was still and will always be there. But, as Dr. K always said in class, "We should approach the delivering of a sermon with a measure of fear, as we are representing God Himself."

It was only on the other side of this first preaching class that I could pinpoint the reason for my initial anxiety about preaching class. I began to realize how I had allowed one person's criticism to shape me and tell me I was less than I was. All because he put God's name on something that might not have been from God.

I believe we can know when such a word is from God and not from man. God's word to us is always life-giving and good. Yes, the Lord disciplines those He loves, but it always comes from a place of deep love and mercy. God's thoughts toward me are good. To summarize Andrew Murray, "I am his delight and all His desire is in me." He thinks I have something worth saying and it is He who empowers me to say it (or encourages me not to!).

Don't get me wrong, I believe in the value of fasting, silence, and solitude. Ask anyone who knows me well and they will tell you as much. I am very passionate about engaging in the spiritual disciplines, most notably fasting and silence. However, I am also now careful to discern whether God is calling for it or I am allowing someone else to speak it into my life.

I have many more thoughts swirling around in my head about the power of words. I'll share those as I get them organized in my mind. Suffice it to say that marriage and life-in-general are teaching me a lot - good and bad - about this these days!

Words

God is lately (and again) teaching me the value of words. I am re-learning the power of words in general - spoken and unspoken. Words have the dynamic and sometimes dangerous power to create and to destroy. Words are sometimes best kept to ourselves and other times necessary (for encouragement, care, rebuke, etc.). I have many thoughts on this subject and want to write more. However, it is late and I am weary from pre-wedding festivities for my little sister right now. I promise to expound more on this in a few days. I imagine my two or three readers will be holding their breath waiting for the forthcoming blog! :)

Are You Convinced?

"The basic premise of biblical trust is that the God and Father of Jesus Christ wants us to live, to grow, to unfold, and to experience fullness of life. Trust is an attitude acquired gradually through many crises and trials. Through the agonizing trial with his son isaac, Abraham learned that God wants us to live and not to die, to grow and not to wither. He discovered that the God who called him to hope against hope is reliable. Perhaps this is the essence of trust: to be convinced of the reliability of God."
- Brennan Manning, Reflections for Ragamuffins

Finding Fulfillment

I am still without a job. While some might welcome this reality, I am done with it. I have a need to do. I willingly admit that I define myself by what I do. This is both good and bad. This is good, given that my vocation is in ministry. It is a fine thing to fully immerse yourself in work if that work is full-time ministry (which we're all called to, by the way...but that is another post). It is bad because it means that I am discouraged when not in my own, boxed up understanding of full-time ministry. In my heart-of-hearts, I know that ministry cannot be limited to any job and that I am in-ministry right now - in my marriage, in my family, and in my friendships. But I yearn for the challenge and fulfillment I get from a job in the field.

I honestly think I'd be ok with doing anything right now (like, working at Hallmark...which I am not far from considering), if I felt like I had enough avenues to explore God's call on my life (even on a volunteer basis or through writing) OR if I was raising kiddos (also on the horizon...but not just yet!). Right now, I just feel a bit limited and a lot discouraged. I am looking into some pretty exciting opportunities (more later) and planning to get started writing, but...it's just a frustrating time for me. I feel...useless. Jason wholeheartedly disagrees and thinks that God is just giving me a season of freedom. He also says that there's a lot going on right now (my little sis is getting married and moving to Green Bay) and that my being jobless affords me flexibility I wouldn't have otherwise. Still, as I said before, I am ready for new opportunities.

We shall see what happens next. Until then, I covet your prayers and welcome your comments! I will keep you posted on it all as it happens...

(DISCLAIMER: I feel very fulfilled in marriage and in my relationships right now. It has been a blessing to be able to simply be a wife, friend, sister, and daughter. Please don't get me wrong...I love those things. I just desire...more!)

Walking without Worry

I have been reflecting a lot lately about what it means to walk with God through the details and difficulties of life. I mean with Him. Not just near Him, but beside Him. I find that each new journey in my life either threatens or strengthens this. That is not an earth-shattering find, I know.

It seems that as I look back on my life, I've just traded old struggles with new ones and anticipate others to come (as we have kids, etc.). Thinking about these things makes me...worry. This is something I am really good at. Not-so-good at trusting that God is with me and that we walk through it all together. I know it, but I don't know it. You know?

So...I was sifting through some old quotes and prayers that I've collected and stumbled across this one. My mom sent this my way (because she's inspirational like that) during a particularly trying time in my life. I need to be reminded of this truth even on my best days. I thought it might encourage you on your journey.

"We are told that God is love; that he takes note of every sparrow that falls and even the hairs of our head are numbered. This means that the least among us is very important to God.

God is described as a forgiving, loving Father. In building faith it is of first importance to integrate this truth into your mind. Every day say aloud,'I am a child of God. God is interested in the smallest detail of my life. God loves me.'
If any doubt arises, reaffirm and reiterate God's love and hold to that thought until it is a fact.

A man asked,'What is the greatest truth of the world?" I turned the question back to him and he said, 'It is that we are not alone.' In building your faith emphasize the greater truth that no matter how dark it gets, how lonely you feel, or how you may experience rejection, you are not alone. Repeat every night as you go to sleep and when difficulty comes: 'I am not alone, God is with me.'

Because God loves you and is always with you, you can have confidence that if you live His way to the best of your ability and put your trust in Him, you will develop a faith that will withstand every shock in this life. A method for meeting difficult responsibilities that can be of immeasurable help is to simply say: 'God please stay with me and help me and I will try to do the best I can.' And then add confidently the affirmation: 'Thank-you, God, for helping me now.'" - Peale

Christmas Reflections

As we approach the holidays, I thought it appropriate to share a couple of passages from my daily devotional. The book is Reflections for Ragamuffins by Brennan Manning. As with all of his works that I have read, this one encourages and challenges me daily. Manning's words never fail to confront and comfort. The selections below have appeared during this sacred season we call Advent.

To those who want to see and experience the birth of Jesus Christ in new ways this Christmas...

"Once a year the Christmas season strikes both the sacred and secular sphers of life with a sledgehammer force: suddenly Jesus Christ is everywhere.

For approximately one month his presence is inescapable. You may accept him or reject him, affirm him or deny him, but you cannot ignore him. Of course he is proclaimed in speech, song, and symbol in all the Christian churches. But he rides every red-nosed reindeer, lurks behind every Cabbage Patch doll, resonates in the desacralized "season's greetings." Remotely or proximately, he is toasted in every cup of Christmas cheer. Each sprig of holly is a hint of his holiness, each cluster of mistletoe a sign he is here.

For those who claim his name, Christmas heralds this luminous truth: The God of Jesus Christ is our absolute future. Such is the deeply hopeful character of this sacred season. By God's free doing in Bethlehem, nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. Light, life, and love are on our side."

"My brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus, if you have been struck by the grace of Christmas, if the Lord in his mercy has given you the courage to accept acceptance, if you are convicted that Christmas is the decisive breakthrough of the passionate love of God in Jesus, if you trust that Godi is faithful to his promises, that he will finish what he began, that amazin' grace is at work right now, that you have only checked into the hotel of earth overnight and you are en route to the heavenly Jerusalem, then in the immortal words of John Powell, 'Please notify your face!.'

On the other hand, if you have not been struck by the grace of Christmas, ask for it and it will be given."

And for those who have experienced loss, disappointment, or find themselves discouraged this Christmas...

"Christmas is the promise that the God who came in history and comes daily in mystery will one day come in glory. God is saying in Jesus that in the end everything will be all right. Nothing can harm you permanently, no suffering is irrevocable, no loss is lasting, no defeat is more than transitory, no disappointment is conclusive. Jesus did not deny the reality of suffering, discouragement, disappointment, frustration, and death; he simply stated that the Kingdom of God would conquer all of these horrors, that the Father's love is so prodigal that no evil could possibly resist it."

And finally, the words of John that so richly describe the beautiful event that is our hope: Christmas...

"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." (John 1:14)

An Update of Sorts!

Jason and I had a fantastic, whirlwind trip to Kentucky for the book-signing event. It was both no-big-deal and a-very-big-deal at the same time. It was no biggie because it was an intimate, informal affair. There were a handful of people there I knew and equally as many that I did not. It was fun and surreal. So very weird to be sitting up there signing books like I knew what I was doing! I definitely need to work on my signature. :)

It was also a pretty big deal because of how it motivated me. My husband (Jason) got completely into it and snapped a ton of pictures. He is constantly reminding me of my desire to ultimately write on my own and that night was no exception. His excitement over this little event really inspired me. The whole experience energized and motivated me to move forward with writing something on my own. I've already made myself a tentative schedule and plan to get started at the turn of the year. Feel free to join Jason in bugging me about it...I need the accountability!

It has been super-busy around here since our quick trip to Kentucky. We have been to Arkansas and back to visit family and have some fun. We have been busy on this end decorating for Christmas and trying to stay on top of our Christmas shopping, too. I also had an interview today for a job I hope to get here in Auburn. I promise to post another update soon!

My Crazy So-Called Life

Many of you know that I have collaborated with a professor and friend of mine, Dr. Ben Witherington III on a couple of books. The first of these, Incandescence, came out a couple of years ago. Dr. Witherington offered me the opportunity to write spiritual formation excercises to go along with his sermons. It was a difficult, but rewarding task. It afforded me the chance to put my love of the saints and spiritual formation to good use. It also allowed me test my skills as a writer.

Dr. Witherington approached me again about collaborating with him on another volume. This one, entitled The Living Legacy, afforded me another chance to use my gifts in the area of spiritual formation writing. I was able to couple ancient practices with modern poetry and theological reflections. Also, this volume allowed me to write and reflect upon authors and saints that I love and have learned from through the years. It was difficult, as I worked on the bulk of it during my engagement! But it kept me focused on what is most important during a busy time in my life. I loved the freedom Dr. Witherington gave me to explore classic and current works of the giants of the Christian faith.

All that to say, I am an officially published author! The first volume was a collaboration and my name was graciously mentioned in the forward. This second volume has my name on the cover and everything! If you know me, you'll excuse my excitement about the latter. I am not gloating...just really, really honored and humbled by this fact! This is just another step along the way to my dream of writing on my own.

I can trace the roots of all of this back to a random conversation at Solomon's Porch in Wilmore, Kentucky several years ago. He had already approached me about transcribing some of his poetry (which are included in The Living Legacy) into a permanent book (I have pretty good handwriting which he discovered from the cards I sold at Solomon's Porch). I came in that day, as I often did, to do some much needed studying. He came by to say hello and I asked him what he was doing. He said he was finishing a commentary on Romans and asked what I was doing. I told him I was studying, but casually mentioned I would really like to write a devotional book someday. Well, Dr. Witherington took note of this and said we should collaborate on a book in the future. I smiled and said I would love that, of course. He left and I was dumbfounded, wondering what I had done! I figured nothing would ever come of it. Boy, was I wrong!

As I write, I am preparing for a trip to Kentucky in just a few short days. Jason and I are heading there to be a part of a book-signing at Joseph-Beth Booksellers in Lexington, Kentucky. Is that not WILD, and EXCITING news?! We are looking forward to the trip to Asbury and to Kentucky in general. Plus, anyone who has lived there can tell you that Joseph-Beth is one of the coolest bookstores. It is two stories of books...heaven to an avid reader like myself!

[If you'd like to see more on the books above, go to these websites:
Incadescence: www.eerdmans.com and The Living Legacy: www.wipfandstock.com. You can also just Google them both.]

Married Life and Living Free

It seems that married life really suits me. I am much more organized, a little more patient (with myself and others...), and it turns out that I am a pretty decent cook. I have had fun with the house-decorating, trying out new dishes, and just being a wife. It has been a blessing to have someone as fantastic as my husband physically there to support and encourage me everyday. I am learning a lot about myself and what it means to do life with another person. It has been much less difficult and dramatic than I thought it might be, given that I have been on my own for so long. I welcome the shared-space aspect and haven't found any quirks I cannot live with just yet. Some say that will come with time, but I choose to think differently.

Please don't get me wrong here. I am not idealizing marriage. There are and will be difficulties along the way. There is always a "rub" when you bring two people together in a relationship and/or marriage. I am well aware of this. But why must the bad always be elevated above the good? Seriously. When I told people I was getting married, the "good-natured" warnings and cautions started flying. I am told the same thing happens when you are expecting a child.

We have a tendency to emphasize the bad over the good in our society. This should not be so. When we find ourselves entering a new season in life (graduation, marriage, children, etc.), we ought to approach it with holy expectancy and joy. We should be ready to see and experience God in whatever is ahead of us. But instead, we go the other direction. We look forward in fear, worry, and anxiety. We start ourselves on this path and others help us with their red flags and warnings.

Why not instead look at the transitions in our lives and in the lives of those around us as opportunities to experience God? Why not surrender ourselves to the care of God and others who love us with complete trust and ready faith? Why not offer encouragement and prayers instead of horror stories and warnings when someone we love is approaching a transition we have already been through?

As Christians, we are to approach the journey of life with stillness and confidence in God (see Psalm 46:3-5, 10) and assurance that God will sustain and even strengthen us (see Habakkuk 3:19). We are to entrust ourselves to our communities and trust that they will also do their best to encourage us along the way (see Hebrews 10). We are to walk without fear and in freedom (see 1 John 4:7-18).

Jason and I have talked about this every step of the way. We understand that the warnings that people offer about marriage and parenthood and what-not are from a good place. But we refuse to give them a place in our marriage and life together. We choose instead to trust God and each other and not to worry about what is ahead. We choose to live in holy expectancy. We choose to live knowing that if and when difficult things come our way, our God, our families, and our friends will sustain us and bring us through. We choose to live free.

That's what this blog is supposed to be about anyway. The subtitle on this blog is "Reflections on Life, Faith, and Living Free." That is what it means to dance anyway - to trust, to abandon, to surrender, and to live. I choose to dance through marriage...and life in general!

As promised, here are a few pictures from the wedding. It was a wonderful day. I enjoyed every minute of it! Jason was a little more nervous and reserved, but he loosened up a lot once the ceremony was finished. You'll note the serious expression on his face in the picture of us...

The biggest surprise of the day was the flowers. My handful of readers will remember from previous posts that this was the only hard part of the planning process. After a lot of drama and difficulty, we ended up with a company called "The Empty Vase" in Little Rock. Not the most encouraging name for a florist, really. I had no idea what to expect and had resolved to just be happy with whatever simple bouquet I ended up with that day. The consultant was nice enough on the phone, but I really had no idea what the flowers would look like. Honey...they were gorgeous! I could not have been happier. I hope to post more pictures of them soon.

I was honored to have both of my sisters, a dear friend from high school, and my two best friends from seminary as attendants in the wedding. The only picture I currently have of the five of them is a little blurry. I'll add one soon. One of my oldest friends (I've known him since 4th grade) read the Scripture and a dear friend from seminary sang (beautifully...). The minister at my home church presided over the ceremony and offered a wonderful homily that encouraged us both.

Enjoy the pictures...I'll post more soon!

She Blogs!

I have to apologize for the lack of blogging on my end over the last couple of months. I am so sorry. But I don't feel too bad since what I've been up to has been pretty huge. The wedding took up a lot of my time in July and August has been a time of unpacking and settling. Both the wedding and the settling have been going fantastically well. I love married life...most specifically my incredible husband. Things have been great so far and I promise to blog about it all soon. For now, I'm job searching and continuing to unpack and write thank you notes! I promise a new post and some pictures soon!

Elisabeth Elliot Quote

"The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman. For I have accepted God's idea of me, and my whole life is an offering back to Him of all that I am and all that He wants me to be." - Elisabeth Elliot

Searching for Flowers and Spinning Plates

Wedding planning is going swimmingly well. Everything is in place with the exception of the flowers. All of our "glitches" have been in the floral department. I say we should just go grab some at a farmer's market or store the day of, but my mom is committed to beautiful arrangements all-around. I am committed to it, too, but not with such a headache.

We have had quite a time of it finding a florist. It seems there is a floral convention taking place the weekend of the wedding. I am not sure what one does at a floral convention. Sniff flowers? Arrangement races? It must be riveting because just about everyone in the LR Metro area and beyond is going. Needless to say, this has presented a problem for our camp. Well, mostly my amazing mom who has happily done the bulk of the work for the big day. She's awesome, but she's stressed about these flowers. At one point she called me very frustrated (ok, that has happened more than once...). She was lamenting the lack of flowers. I tried to tell her it would be ok and she said, "But it might not be ok, Julie." This made me laugh (after I got off the phone, of course!), as I am sure that I will still be married whether we have exceptional flowers or not. No one is going to be horrified if there aren't arrangements everywhere. Anyone who is should be ashamed. That's not what a wedding ceremony is about anyway.

Don't get me wrong. I would really like to have a great florist and beautiful flowers. My mom met with some guy today at a fantastic shop in Little Rock (they have chosen not to attend the riveting flower convention) that will remain nameless until a later date. I feel sure it is going to work out and this part of the wedding will be as great as the cake, dresses, and everything else. My mom is still a little unconvinced/nervous.

I share all of this as a little window into my life right now. It is a little insane trying to plan a wedding, prepare to move, work, and meet a publication deadline (another post about that last item later...). It is like spinning plates. Sometimes it is thrilling, at other times overwhelming. At all times it is entertaining to the people around me. :)

[The top picture is one of the pictures snapped while we were taking engagement pictures at the beach. We love this one! The picture below it is a random arrangement I found on the web. Mine will likely have a little more color in it, but I like this one for some reason. It is a little large and greenish, but lovely.]

Wedding Whirlwind!

I realize that I promised weeks ago to post more about the engagement and the wedding plans. I am so sorry for taking so long to do so! If you're married (or engaged!), you know that I am up to my eyeballs in details! Wedding planning is all-consuming. So far, though, it has gone really well. We have everything we need. The wedding location was secured less than 2-hours after the engagement. We found the wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses a week or so into the planning. I've included a picture of myself and my little sister in the bridesmaid dresses. They are super cute. I won't be posting any pictures of the wedding dress, as Jason wants to be surprised. I am pretty sure he doesn't check the blog, but...!


We secured the reception site, caterer, and photographer in rapid succession. All promise to be wonderful and have excellent reputations. The final piece to be added was the florist. By some fluke of nature, there is a floral convention the weekend of my wedding. What?! If that isn't the most completely random thing you've ever heard! Anhyhow, we finally got a fantastic florist from Little Rock. I think he is going to do a beautiful job. Plus, it is a world of fun just to listen to him talk. Strangely enough, he shares a name with one of my uncles...very serendipitous.

I will start posting pictures of other wedding details as time permits. It is a busy, but wonderful time! I recommend doing this (3-4 month engagement/planning). It makes it almost impossible to get bogged down in the details. Still, I do covet your prayers and any sage advice you might have!

Engaged and Exhilarated!

In case you haven't heard...Jason and I are ENGAGED! I could not be more excited about my fiancé, the ring, the wedding, and everything in-between and afterward! It all happened on Saturday, April 26th, just two days shy of our one year anniversary. It was perfect. And by perfect, I mean quintessentially me. If you know me, you know that means it was kind of funny, kind of sweet, and mostly a comedy of errors. My sweet fiancé had a plan and I sort of blew that out of the water. It is one for the books and story we'll treasure and laugh about for years to come.

We've been engaged for less than a month and the wedding plans are already going fantastically well. We have pretty much everything taken care of except the flowers and photographer. I do believe we'll have that done in the next week or so. It has been beautiful to see God continue to bless our relationship as we plan for what is ahead. We are both just in awe of His provision and the ways He is blessing us along the way.

I promise to blog as the planning continues. I'll post fun pictures and stories, I promise. I apologize for the delay of this post. It has been a little crazy since the actual engagement. Those of you who have planned a wedding recently (or ever!) understand!

Permanent and Perpetual Thanksgiving

"The Christian is a eucharistic worshiper of the saving love and mercy of the God who has accepted him. His very being is a Eucharist, a permanent and perpetual thanksgiving to God. What does Eucharist mean but thanksgiving? If Eucharist means thanksgiving, Christianity means people who are joyfully grateful people." - Brennan Manning

In the United Methodist Church, the rule is generally that communion happens on the first Sunday of the month. On this I have relied since my childhood. I was prepared for it last week when I realized it was the first of April. I scanned the Sunday bulletin only to discover that communion was given at the early service, but not the one I was attending that morning. I am sure there is a logical explanation for this and we will have our own time of communion in a week or two. On that Sunday morning, though, I was more than just a little disappointed.

Several of the students I work with were equally upset by the lack of communion that morning. I found myself strangely comforted by their disappointment. I was glad that they noticed...and missed it. It somehow seemed to say to me that they really get it.

I feel relatively certain that they weren't upset about not getting communion because it tastes so great. We use those papery wafer thingys and tiny glasses of grape juice at our church (it's a pretty big church, I don't fault them for that...). I am also pretty certain that it wasn't just because it was the first Sunday of the month and that is just when we're "supposed" to have it. Based on what they were saying, it seemed to come from a much different place.

I think these students understand communion. They want/need to be reminded what Christ accomplished for us on the cross. They want/need to be reminded that we are all in this together. They want/need to be reminded of God's goodness. They want/need to remember the new covenant. They want/need to remember and be thankful, which is what Eucharist really means.

And they seemed to really miss all of that. I found myself wishing I could bless the elements before us (we were at a baseball game...) and offer them communion right there. Then I realized that we were, in a way, experiencing the Eucharist together at that moment. It is not the same as receiving the cup and bread, but grace danced among us just the same and we experienced holy communion - community - together.

Let me close this post with a short, personal story from a couple of years ago. Some of you may have heard me tell this before, but it is worth repeating today. While in seminary I kept the most adorable bunch of kids. I spent my Mondays with them and a few others here and there. I love them very much and always had the best time with them. More often than not, they would teach me life and faith lessons without even knowing it.

One day I was walking out of the mid-week communion service and they walked up. Their dad was giving the homily and communion. The little boy was decked out in Power Ranger gear from head-to-toe. Adorable. The little girl was dressed as a princess (naturally). Without missing a beat, the little girl ran up to me and asked a question I'll not soon forget.

"Miss Julie, Miss Julie...want to go have community with me?"

I smiled and said, "Yes, of course!"

I had already taken "community" that morning, so I just watched them kneel at the altar and receive it from their Dad. It was a beautiful moment. Once finished, they got up and ran out talking about how they had "community" and making sure everyone knew it. It was priceless.

These little ones reminded me what it is all about that day. Each time I take communion, I remember this day. Communion is community. It ought to call forth thanksgiving and joy in our lives and an overwhelming desire to share it with others.

Open Eyes

I have just returned from a week in inner-city Memphis for a mission trip with a handful of students. It was an eye-opening experience, to say the least. I am in full-time ministry and I am pretty sure I had lost sight of who Jesus is. I was reminded of that old worship song "Open Our Eyes, Lord, we want to see Jesus.." as I prepared for the week. I love the melody and the words of that song. As I came to understand Jesus more in my life, the words started haunting me. So much that I remember wanting to stand up in the middle of the service I was attending and ask how many people really meant what they were singing. Do we really want to see Him? He is dirty, cold, hungry, and thirsty. Is that the Jesus we are looking for these days?

That is the Jesus we look for when we are on a mission trip like the one I was on last week. Then we see Him everywhere. I saw him in a thousand places last week. I saw him in the 24-year old woman we worked for who is struggling to raise her four children and many of her own siblings. I saw him in my friends from seminary who are reaching out to the young people in their inner-city Memphis neighborhood. I saw him in an older man with the saddest eyes I have ever seen. He lives in an abandoned car wash and wakes up each day shaking violently, desperate for a drink. I saw him everywhere.

I am home now and hope that I my eyes stay open so that I can see Jesus in my everyday. This is where it counts. I say that not to diminish the work done last week (and throughout the year through Service Over Self). But it is only fleeting if it only lasts for a week or so here and there. It has to translate into our daily lives. Jesus is all around us - hungry, thirsty, dirty, cold, and broken. Sometimes in the most unlikely places. He is in that woman you see everyday at work who seems to have it all together. Or maybe in the man who holds it all together each day for his family, but is dying inside because of some secret addiction. That child who feels isolated and unloved at home and at school. And yes, sometimes He looks like what I saw last week in inner-city Memphis.

There's this old quote that I love. I wrote it out for my mom years ago and she still has it on her bulletin board at home. I wrote it in a fun sort of font because that is the way I understood it then. The quote reads, "People see God everyday, they just don't recognize Him..." (Pearl Bailey). It carries new meaning today. I hope I will recognize Him...

Evermore...

"Gracious Father, whose blessed Son Jesus Christ came down from heaven to be the true bread which gives life to the world: Evermore give us this bread, that he may live in us, and we in him; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen." - Book of Common Prayer

This prayer appeared in my Lenten Reader today and really spoke to me. I've come across it before and each time it speaks to me. I love the old language, "Evermore give us...". I am not sure I can explain it, but it awakens something in me. With this sentence, all of the names of Jesus come alive for me. I think not only of Jesus as "Bread of Life," but also as "Living Water," "Vine," "Good Shepherd," and the countless other names of our Lord. Evermore give me this Christ who satisfies hunger, quenches thirst, initiates growth, seeks us out...and provides all I need. Let me be at rest with this One; Savior and Lord of all.

Being Me

I have come the realization that I am a peculiar human being. I am more than a little strange. I am slightly random and only accidentally funny. I speak too soon and have to eat my words almost daily (It's that whole talk-before-you-think syndrome...usually just something stupid, not bad.). I am a big nerd. I love books. I love history. I am fascinated with dead people (the communion of saints). I love a good biography or documentary. It is funny how being in a relationship will expose you for who you really are. And I am...weird.

I can't decide if it is that I am more myself with Jason than I have ever been or I am more at ease with myself because of him. I think it is a little of both. And it has been this way from the beginning with him. I am just me with him. Peculiar. Weird. Strange. Random. Klutzy. Me.

This is both liberating and scary.

Liberating because I feel like I am learning a lot about myself. I am discovering me in all my weirdness and I kinda like me. I'm sort of fun in my randomness and weirdness. I'm learning to embrace my strange self and own my many quirks. I am figuring out what I like and dislike and learning to be ok with what doesn't match up to the majority. It is thrilling.

It is scary because self-reflection always is. Seeing myself clearly for the first time in a long time is sobering. While the people-pleaser in me has diminished as-of-late, it still lurks in the dark corners and rears its ugly head now-and-then. I am determined to live free of that in this life and this road of self-discovery that I've accidentally started on is helping that matter. And seeing myself through Jason's eyes has helped. He digs my quirks and embraces my weaknesses and encourages me to do the same.

I have learned that I am not perfect (shocking, I know). I am decidedly imperfect, quirky, and weird. I am learning to embrace me and I am more alive because of it. And the boy who is teaching me all of these things about myself (without knowing it, really) helps me in that department, too. More on that in the next post. :)

Sneak Preview: My Life

A lot has been going on in my little world over the last several weeks and months. A lot. I have plenty to blog about these days. Family stuff. Faith stuff. Fabulous boyfriend stuff. I have a lot to say about all of those things and more...and absolutely no extravagant time in which to do so. I am working on carving out some time to do so very soon. I am sorry for the many blogs lately that have been apologetic, brief, or lacking. Life is very busy, but oh-so-good these days. I really will write more about it soon. For now, here's a short list of things to look forward to hearing about over the next few weeks.

5. I am heading to the 2008 Passion Conference in Dallas, TX this weekend. It should be a fun trip - 6 girls, 2 boys (my boy, Jason, being one of them...yay!).
4. Mardi Gras in Mobile. I went a couple of weeks ago. It was fun and not near as suspicious/strange/scary as I expected.
3. My adorable nephews. I have some fun stories to share about them that I think you'll enjoy.
2. A post of Julie-isms...random times lately when I have been accidentally funny or clutsy. These seem to get the most responses, because this is the Julie you know and love!
1. Jason. The boy. You know you want the scoop on all things related to that. I'll deliver...soon! Suffice it to say for now that things are going better than fantastic. He's the greatest. Just today he sent me roses so I could enjoy them for an entire week instead of a lousy 24-hours before the conference this weekend. He is just that good. We love him. :)

All in the Family

Follow this link to the audio of the sermon I gave on Sunday, January 6, 2008 at Central United Methodist Church. The title of the sermon is "All in the Family" and the text comes from Hebrews 2:10-18 and Isaiah 63:7-9. It is approximately 16 minutes long. Feel free to offer feedback or comments (be honest, but...gentle!).

A Brief Blog

It seems I've been a bit of a blogger slacker again lately. I can explain. Even though we are only eleven days into this new year, it has been a busy one. This is surprising given the fact that I work with college students and most of them are gone. The last two Sundays I have preached in my church. [I am working on getting a copy of it online for those that might want to hear it.] The better part of my time has gone to being sure I would be ready and relaxed. I've had a million other things going on, too. None of which are interesting enough to blog about, though. I promise to write more soon...

On the Little Town of Bethlehem

I really resonate with the lectionary for this season. It is just so rich and far-reaching. I find myself identifying with Zechariah in his doubt. With Mary in her awe. With John in his poetic description of the incarnation. Each one speaks to a different part of me.

I must confess that in the past I spent little time on the Old Testament passages of the season. Other than the ones from Isaiah, of course. One such passage was Micah 5:2-5. It didn't seem to have anything new to say. That is not the case for me anymore. In the last couple of years, this has become one of my favorite passages for the season of Christmas (along with John 1:1-14).

I've always loved the Christmas hymn "O Little Town of Bethlehem" by Phillips Brooks. The carefully chosen words and beautiful melody of this song follow me throughout the month of December. These words have taken on new meaning as I've come to understand a little more about Bethlehem.

Bethlehem was not just a small town. Eugene Peterson calls this insignificant, undistinguished village of Judah, "the runt of the litter" (Micah 5:2). There was really nothing special about it.

And yet God chose this most ordinary place as the setting for the most extraordinary event: the birth of our Savior. This is befitting the redemptive nature of our creative God. We - or at least I - almost miss the significance of the place where God's presence came to dwell among us.

The significance of the choice of this little insignificant village for the birth of our Savior doesn't stop with its location and population. That would be enough for us, wouldn't it? To know that God delights to use the commonplace to accomplish his uncommon purposes should tell us all we need to know about our God and what he can do with our seemingly insignificant lives. But there's more...

The real beauty of Bethlehem is in the meaning of Bethlehem itself. It comes from the Greek words "Bet" and "Lehem." These words are literally translated "House of" and "Bread," respectively. So, Bethlehem literally means "House of Bread." Is there any more perfect place for the birth of our Savior, the true "Bread of Life"?

The creativity of our God astounds me. "How silently, How silently the wondrous gift is given" in a little town in Bethlehem and in the quiet of our hearts. May our Lord Emmanuel come to you and abide with you this Christmas season in a new/old way...quietly and completely.

Amen.

God Always Understands

Someone sent me this YouTube video the other day and it really ministered to me. It is just a subtle reminder from a child of who God is and how deeply he cares for us. I thought it was fitting given this season of Advent and preparation for our Coming King. It might seem a little "Lenten" to those of you who love the liturgical seasons like I do. Advent or Lent, the shadow of the cross is always there...

A Prayer for Advent

Holy Child,

whom the shepherds
and the kings,
and the dumb beasts adored,
be born again.

Wherever there is boredom,
wherever there is fear of failure,
wherever there is temptation too strong to resist,
wherever there is bitterness of heart,
come, Thou Blessed One,
with healing in Thy wings.

Savior, be born in each of us
who raises a face to Thy face,
not knowing fully who he is
or who Thou art,
knowing only that Thy love
is beyond his knowing
and that no other has the power
to make him whole.

Come, Lord Jesus,
to each who longs for Thee
even though he has forgotten
Thy name.

Come quickly.

Amen.

- Frederick Buechner