Being Me

I have come the realization that I am a peculiar human being. I am more than a little strange. I am slightly random and only accidentally funny. I speak too soon and have to eat my words almost daily (It's that whole talk-before-you-think syndrome...usually just something stupid, not bad.). I am a big nerd. I love books. I love history. I am fascinated with dead people (the communion of saints). I love a good biography or documentary. It is funny how being in a relationship will expose you for who you really are. And I am...weird.

I can't decide if it is that I am more myself with Jason than I have ever been or I am more at ease with myself because of him. I think it is a little of both. And it has been this way from the beginning with him. I am just me with him. Peculiar. Weird. Strange. Random. Klutzy. Me.

This is both liberating and scary.

Liberating because I feel like I am learning a lot about myself. I am discovering me in all my weirdness and I kinda like me. I'm sort of fun in my randomness and weirdness. I'm learning to embrace my strange self and own my many quirks. I am figuring out what I like and dislike and learning to be ok with what doesn't match up to the majority. It is thrilling.

It is scary because self-reflection always is. Seeing myself clearly for the first time in a long time is sobering. While the people-pleaser in me has diminished as-of-late, it still lurks in the dark corners and rears its ugly head now-and-then. I am determined to live free of that in this life and this road of self-discovery that I've accidentally started on is helping that matter. And seeing myself through Jason's eyes has helped. He digs my quirks and embraces my weaknesses and encourages me to do the same.

I have learned that I am not perfect (shocking, I know). I am decidedly imperfect, quirky, and weird. I am learning to embrace me and I am more alive because of it. And the boy who is teaching me all of these things about myself (without knowing it, really) helps me in that department, too. More on that in the next post. :)

Sneak Preview: My Life

A lot has been going on in my little world over the last several weeks and months. A lot. I have plenty to blog about these days. Family stuff. Faith stuff. Fabulous boyfriend stuff. I have a lot to say about all of those things and more...and absolutely no extravagant time in which to do so. I am working on carving out some time to do so very soon. I am sorry for the many blogs lately that have been apologetic, brief, or lacking. Life is very busy, but oh-so-good these days. I really will write more about it soon. For now, here's a short list of things to look forward to hearing about over the next few weeks.

5. I am heading to the 2008 Passion Conference in Dallas, TX this weekend. It should be a fun trip - 6 girls, 2 boys (my boy, Jason, being one of them...yay!).
4. Mardi Gras in Mobile. I went a couple of weeks ago. It was fun and not near as suspicious/strange/scary as I expected.
3. My adorable nephews. I have some fun stories to share about them that I think you'll enjoy.
2. A post of Julie-isms...random times lately when I have been accidentally funny or clutsy. These seem to get the most responses, because this is the Julie you know and love!
1. Jason. The boy. You know you want the scoop on all things related to that. I'll deliver...soon! Suffice it to say for now that things are going better than fantastic. He's the greatest. Just today he sent me roses so I could enjoy them for an entire week instead of a lousy 24-hours before the conference this weekend. He is just that good. We love him. :)