This Little Thing Called Life

Eight months and a new son later, I am back to blogging!  Yikes!  I apologize for my absence and hope there's at least a handful of people who might start reading again should I find the time to post.  I have much to say and share and write about, just a lack of time to do so.  This little thing called life is a bit chaotic these days.  A new baby and an almost 3 year old occupy much of my time and I couldn't be happier about that.  I love all three of my boys (John Reynolds, Jake and my husband, Jason) and our little life together.  It is wild sometimes, but I wouldn't trade it all for anything!

Still, I'd like to carve out some time to write here:  for myself, for others, for inspiration and encouragement (of myself and others).  It is freeing to put pen to paper (fingers to keyboard?) and share my heart and maybe a few pictures here.  So, I'll attempt to begin again.  I hope you'll join me.

Enjoy these pictures of my little men for now:

Jake - 4 months old

John Reynolds - 2.5 years old

one foot at a time...

"Through the heartfelt mercies of our God, God's Sunrise will break in upon us...showing us the way, one foot at a time, down the path of peace." - Luke 1:78-79, The Message

I absolutely love this translation of this already beautiful verse from Luke.  What a hope-filled and incredible reminder to us all as we walk toward a new year.  I am thinking this will be my verse for the year ahead.  When I've chosen a verse to live by before, I've always chosen something impossibly hard to live into or that caused more guilt than joy and hope.  It is not that the verses themselves were impossible or unrealistic for my life, but I let them weigh me down instead of carry me forward.  I think this one will serve to challenge and inspire me, helping me to press forward with hope and confidence.  I am lacking in latter more often than I would like to admit.

I told my {incredible} husband that my new years resolution, however vague, is to live without fear.  He told me he thought that was an excellent resolution and he would help and challenge me along the way.  I added later that I want to live with steadfast hope and faith in the year ahead.  I am sure the above verse will help me hold onto hope and breed confidence in God, in myself and just in general.  I already feel hope and confidence welling up just thinking of it!  I am excited about the possibilities of a life filled with more hope than fear, more confidence than doubt and more peace than discouragement.

I am certain that this path of hope and confidence will require a daily surrender on my part.  I am ready for that.  Perhaps part of my problem in the past has been wanting to be able to live into a verse immediately, instead of letting go and allowing myself to live into it a little more each day.  And isn't that what life is anyway?  A path we walk one foot at a time with hope and confidence because our merciful God goes with us, showing us the way down the path of peace and abundant life.

Big News!

We've got some big news...We are expecting Baby #2 in April!  We are pretty excited!  All seems to be well so far.  We hope to find out what we are having near John Reynolds' 2nd birthday.  We have talked to him about what's ahead, but he really doesn't understand what is going on just yet.  We think he will understand a little more closer to time and have the highest of hopes that he will be great about it.  He is a tenderhearted, happy, sweet kid.  We are hoping that translates into being an awesome big brother!!  To be perfectly honest, none of us know what kind of craziness bringing another one into our little life will be like!  I am sure: blessed.  A little more chaotic, but blessed.  I will post more along the way!

Better

Well, I don't have to tell you that I completely tanked on the writing down of a thousand gifts.

Tanked.

I just quit.  It became a chore for me and I quit.  I wasn't finding the joy in it that I wanted/needed, so I stopped writing them down.  But, as I've said in previous posts.  The book and the idea really found a way into my heart and I do feel much more grateful.

Well, most of the time.

I'll admit that I have days where I find myself less-than-grateful and unable to see the blessings right in front of me.  Watch out world (Jason, really!) on those days!  Give me a few moments of reflection as I sit with John Reynolds at night and I am back*.  I need but a moment to remind me how blessed I am.  Wonderful husband.  Precious son.  Incredible family and friends.  A home. And the list goes on...Here's the thing:  I know I am blessed.  I don't have to write it down to know it.  But I do need to be more disciplined about the remembering part of it.  An encourager by nature, I am prone to discouragement myself.  People in my life can be dealing with the same sort of things I am and I can confidently encourage them and tell them all will be well.  I might have a little trouble practicing what I preach in that department.  Funny how that works.  Anyhow, so when I have those quiet moments (rare) or even when I find myself in the midst of the loud ones (much more common), I am trying to consciously count my blessings.  You know, take notice of the great stuff all around me.  Easier said than done, for sure...but it makes for a sunnier attitude and it cultivates joy.  A huge theme/desire/goal in my life.  Joy.  And to "always be joyful" requires {gulp} discipline.  I am trying, I really am.  I hope you will, too.  It will make us better people.  More joyful.  Better parents.  Better spouses.  Better friends.  Better.

And isn't that all we want everyday?  To be better at whatever we endeavor.

*Yes, we still "rock" him to sleep.  Although it is really not rocking, as he has always just liked a few moments of stillness with us before we put him down.  And I/we have no regrets.  I/we will do it until he won't let us anymore.  These are priceless moments and we are savoring them.  Don't judge. Besides, he can totally go to bed without it and has.  No biggie. :)

Craziness!

It seems it has been well over a month since I have posted any words of my own.  If you keep up with me at all on Facebook, you already know it was an eventful month.  Wait...that is an understatement.  It was crazy, y'all! We're talking worthy of a sitcom craziness.  I can say sitcom now, but it sure felt more like a mini-series drama there for a few days!

So...in the span of a few days I managed to fall down (stupid wedge heels) and fracture my elbow, both of my boys got sick, I fell down again (yep!) and dropped John Reynolds in the process...at daycare...in front of a million (ok, five) witnesses.  This was both horrifying and reassuring.  Horrifying for obvious reasons.  You never ever want to drop your child.  It is the most awful feeling ever.  Ever.  It is also rather overwhelming to do so in front of so many people.  It was reassuring because the assistant director and one of the teachers were so awesome.  They were calm (I was most definitely not calm at this point.) and at least a handful of people I never met stopped to tell me their own stories of dropping their children.  When it was all said and done, John Reynolds did not have much to show for it..  He was upset and scared at first, but mostly seemed worried because Mommy was upset.  He didn't even get a goose-egg, just a little surface bruise that was gone in a couple of days.  When we got home, he kept hitting his head and saying, "Ohhhh" and then smiling.  I felt a little like that episode of friends where Monica injures Ben and he keeps saying, "Monica...bang." As if I needed to be reminded what happened.

As I type, we are on round three of the antibiotics for this particular ear infection.  I am afraid tubes might be in our future if this doesn't take care of it.  I am hoping not, but there are worse things than tubes.  Other than that, we are doing well.  Meaning:  I haven't fallen down in a couple of weeks.  Progress, people! Life is crazy, but it really is good.  I love life with my boys and am thankful for every minute with them both.

On Experiencing Joy...

"We struggle, we're broken, that is our natural propensity.  And God doesn't leave us to our own devices...What God says is 'I love you so much I'll do whatever it takes to save you from yourselves, to deliver you.  I don't want you to walk around with guilt and shame all the time.  I want you to experience joy.'" - Adam Hamilton

Yes, he is pretty much this happy most of the time.  We have a great kid, y'all.  Love his sweet, joyful and loving personality so much!  Thankful for every minute with my little family and the opportunity to watch this little guy grow.  He is a delight!

We only pray that we are giving him all the love, adventures and {even} structure and discipline he needs to become the incredible person we believe he can be.    We know we don't have all the answers, but we're doing the best we can.  It is easy with a boy like John Reynolds! I think that Jason and I would both tell you that he teaches us far more than we teach him!  He is a world of fun and we love him so!